What the Delete Button Was Made For

Friday, July 17, AD 2009



Some of you probably think it is pretty easy to write for a blog.  You probably think that all it involves is writing whatever comes into your fool head and then an occasional response in the comboxes.  Well, actually, that is about 98% of it for me.  However there are a few other duties. Perhaps the most time consuming is deleting “nut” comments.  These comments are usually so bizarre that I assume any effort to respond to them would be futile.  However, yesterday Jay Anderson at Pro Ecclesia received a prime example of the type of “”nut” comment I am writing about, and I thought our readership might like to see it.

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22 Responses to What the Delete Button Was Made For

  • Good Lord, it appears we’re responsible for the e coli outbreaks. And here all this time I was thinking it was the Jews. My feelings are hurt. Why isn’t anyone at the Vatican calling on the secret hotline and letting me in on the good Carolignian plots? I must not be putting enough in the collection plate.

    /Sarcasm, of course, although anyone who thinks like this guy will be unable to see it.

  • He didn’t even mention the corp of albino assassins at the beck and call of the Vatican! Since I am low on the totem pole of the Catholic Plot, the Vatican has only given me a squad of albino squirrel assassins, but the non-squirrel creatures in my back yard now fear the power of Rome! (Laughing evilly and wringing hands!)

  • So the albino squirrels have spread beyond Olney, Ill. now? This plot must be pretty serious then.

  • I like the made-up words based on the root “pope,” which have a long and rich tradition in anti-Catholicism.

    Anyone can talk about popery, but it takes a special kind of nut to coin phrases like “Ellis Island Popeholes.”

  • Why Carolingian? That’s my question. I guess (for inexplicable reasons), The Matrix took Merovingian, so that’s out, even though Clovis’s conversion to Catholicism might be seen as a Catholic conspiracy, although don’t the Holy Blood people think the Merovingians were descended from Jesus? That would be a deal-breaker, I guess. Hapsburgs might be a good one, since they’re still around and they were the leading Catholic monarchs at the time of the Reformation. When I come up with a grand anti-Catholic conspiracy, though, I think I will emphasize the Ottonians – really send the nut jobs to their history books.

  • What about the tendency of NUTJOBS to selectively type in ALL caps, Don McClarey? We’ve all see how as the RAGE and HATRED intensifies the frequency of the CAPS increases. Same with EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

  • True Rick. Underlining is also a tell-tale sign, and some of the comments even have the more heated parts in red, just in case the reader was confused as to the important portions of the missive.

    What is truly hilarious is when I delete a nut comment and receive a follow-up comment a few days later demanding to know why the original comment wasn’t posted. Usually the sender helpfully repeats the original comment.


  • See, this is really what gets my goat (she whines). Donald at least gets albino squirrel assassins, but me, nothing, zip, zilch. What am I, chopped liv- oops, scratch that. What I am, left-overs from Friday night fish fry? I am disregarded like last week’s church bulletin. Is a couple of albino squirrel assassins too much to hope for?
    /stamps feet, pouts.

  • Ah, Donna some special service to the Vatican needs to be rendered for such an honor to be bestowed. I would tell you what I did, but then I would have to send my albino squirrel assassins after you.

  • I guess I could safely mention that the service did involve Dan Brown, a troupe of mimes and a ton of squirrel droppings.

  • There is one thing that makes him stand out – he actually put a name (or at least pseudonym)to his comment. Usually some dude named anonymous is responsible for all the nutter commentary on these interwebs.

  • Donald,

    Why on earth is Holy Mother Church making use of squirrels, albino or otherwise?

    Everyone knows that all squirrels are unrepentant Jacobins and are, consequently, dedicated to the destruction of the Church.


  • Flambeaux,
    From the French name I could see how you might be confused. European red squirrels are Jacobins. American Grey (and Albino) squirrels are Jacobites, dedicated to restoring the Catholic Stuarts to the throne of England. Hence the British government’s efforts to wipe out the Grey Squirrel (see here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tyne/7206813.stm). You’ll note the massacre (a “cull” here) took place in Northumberland, whence came many of Bonnie Prince Charlie’s English supporters in the ’45.

  • Now Don, don’t turn your nose up ( 😉 ) at your squirrel droppings. It is had, I have heard, on good authority that squirrel droppings greatly help in becomming smart.

    The story goes that a rather naive visitor to the US once asked a resident of that once proud nation ? what were those things on the ground that looked like squirrel s**t.
    The resident said,”Nah man, that’s not squirrel s**t, them things are smart pills.”
    Naive visitor proceeds to eat some of the smart pills and after nibbling a couple, spits and says to the resident, ” That aint smart pills, that’s squirrel shit.”
    Resident says,”Now man, you’re gitten smart.”

    Don’t mock the humble squirrel dropping.

  • I sit corrected Don!

  • Elaine, are you sure he wasn’t just a rap fan? Or maybe he was trying to blame us for rap music, too.

    Zak, I knew there had to be an anti-Catholic dimension to the squirrel cull! Can we ship them back our house sparrows and starlings in protest?

    Please don’t be too hard on people who type in all caps. Some, like my father-in-law, have just been computing so long they preceded (and never quite got acclimated to) the two-case keyboard.

  • I suppose some of these ALL CAPS commenters may also be rap fans.

    Speaking of Ludacris (the rapper), there is a very quirky website called “Strange Maps” that I visit occasionally, which includes a map of all the telephone area codes in which Ludacris claims to have “hoes” — not the gardening kind, of course.

    Strange Maps also includes maps showing which regions of the U.S. call soft drinks “pop”, “soda”, and “Coke”; every U.S. state matched with the flag of a country with the same population (Illinois = Zambia; California = Poland; Texas = N. Korea) or a country with approximately the same Gross Domestic Product (Illinois = Venezuela); and a bunch of grapes of varying sizes representing wine consumption in all the countries of Europe.

  • I must correct myself. On the GDP map, Illinois = Mexico; Iowa = Venezuela; California = France; Texas = Canada; New York = Brazil; Florida = S. Korea; and Maryland = Hong Kong.

    Oddly enough, on the flag/population map, Oregon = Palestine but on the GDP map Oregon = Israel.

    Hopefully this isn’t degenerating into an example of the kind of comments the delete button was made for 🙂

  • That does sound like a cool site.

    I may have described wrongly–keyboards may have had case back in the old days (otherwise certain symbols would not have been available), but the screen display did not. (It’s been a long time–lately we’ve been amazing our teens with tales of tape drives the size of wardrobes and disk drives you could hide a coworker’s surprise birthday cake in.) My FIL just sets the caps lock as he has since the days of teletype, and yells at us electronically.

  • Flambeaux and Zak, I gathered together my little albino assassins today and had a man to squirrel talk with them to see where their political loyalties lie. Apparently they are Ultra Montane Carlists, except for Ratatosk who described himself as a Truman Democrat.