Librarian: The Perfect Job For a Retired DI
The National Rifle Association is going all out this election and the video above featuring retired Marine Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey is a good way to kick off their campaign.
Unsurprisingly, Ermey is not a big fan of the current administration:
The War That Gets No Respect
When it comes to the War of 1812, the ignorance depicted in the above video is no exaggeration. Of all our major conflicts, our Second War For Independence is the most obscure to the general public. In this bicentennial year of the beginning of the War, I will do my small bit on the blog Almost Chosen People , the American history blog that Paul Zummo and I run, to help correct this situation. The War of 1812 was an important struggle in American history for a number of reasons, a few of which are:
1. Until the War of 1812 the British tended to treat the United States as if it were a wayward colony that would ultimately become part of the British Empire again. After the War the British understood that we were an independent power and a permanent factor in their calculations.
2. The War established the United States Navy as an aggressive and resourceful combat force, unafraid to pit daring and skill against the massively more powerful Royal Navy.
3. The War ended American dreams of conquering Canada.
4. As a result of the War, the Indian tribes east of the Mississippi could no longer provide serious resistance to American expansion into the Northwest and the Southwest.
5. The Star-Spangled Banner symbolized the new surge of nationalism that the country experienced as a result of the War.
Continue reading
Happy Penguin Awareness Day
Remember, check all umbrellas, treat all gatherings of birds with suspicion and never trust anyone with constant herring breath.
The Facebook History of World War 2
Lest we get bogged down in the dark humor of what lousy candidates we have running for the nomination, here’s a little bit of non-election related dark humor for your Friday: The Facebook History of World War II:
View the whole thing here. [warning: some bad language]
Vatican Archivists Discover Unfinished Papal Encyclical!!
(cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
(AoftheAP) Calling it the “most exciting archival discovery in the post-Reformation era”, Vatican archivists have announced that in October 2011, they discovered what they believe to be the unfinished 13th Rosary Encyclical penned by Pope Leo XIII. Pope Leo XIII, who had a strong devotion to our Blessed Mother, issued 12 encyclicals on the rosary between the years 1883-1898. It is believed this newly found incomplete one was started several months before he died in July 1903.
“We’ve translated the text,” Fr. Hugo Thistleway said at yesterday’s press conference, “and it’s entitled Decursu Saeculorum, taken from the first sentence of the encyclical: ‘Decursu saeculorum, sanctissimam Matrem pietatis manifestatio per fideles in recitatione a sanctissimo Rosario nuncupatur’, which translates to: ‘Throughout the ages, devotion to our Blessed Mother has been expressed by the faithful in the recitation of the Holy Rosary’.”
In all, the encyclical totals six and a half pages, and is clearly incomplete. But its content has caused an immediate controversy at the Holy See, as Pope Leo XIII indicated in very precise language how the rosary is to be prayed. Namely, that the only means by which to receive grace and indulgences from recitation, is to pray the rosary in a counter-clockwise direction. According to the encyclical, praying the rosary in a clockwise direction would ‘bear no fruit and Heaven would be closed to the petitioner and his pleas’ (‘…fructum nequaquam facient, quod caelum claudatur, et preces eius et actori.’).
“Due to its incompleteness, there is uncertainty as to the encyclical’s binding nature upon the faithful,” Thistleway said. “But make no mistake, this is huge.”
Fr. Thistleway demonstrated Pope Leo XIII’s instructions to those gathered at the press conference. “If you hold out the rosary at the crucifix, and let the beads hang down, what the encyclical is saying is that the first decade must be the one to the left of the crucifix, the second decade to the left of the first, and so on, all away around until you return to the crucifix. Starting to the right would be wrong – not necessarily sinful, at least according to several moral theologians I’ve spoken to, but wrong nonetheless.” Continue reading
The Very Quiddity of Civility
Hattip to Creative Minority Report. No, the above video is not a Daily Show spoof. There really and truly is a Froma Harrop. She is an editorial writer for the Providence Journal and President of the National Conference of Editorial Writers. (I know that sounds like a spoof, but it isn’t.) The NCEW has a project to restore civility in American life, and you may read all about it here.
On August 2, 2011, Ms. Harrop delivered herself of this glittering gem of civility:
Make no mistake: The tea party Republicans have engaged in economic terrorism against the United States — threatening to blow up the economy if they don’t get what they want. And like the al-Qaida bombers, what they want is delusional: the dream of restoring some fantasy caliphate in which no one pays taxes, while the country is magically protected from foreign attack and the elderly get government-paid hip replacements.
Americans are not supposed to negotiate with terrorists, but that’s what Obama has been doing. Obama should have grabbed the bully pulpit early on, bellowing that everything can be discussed but America’s honor, which requires making good on its debt obligations. Lines about “we’re all at fault” and “Republicans should compromise” are beyond pathetic on a subject that should be beyond discussion.
That the Republican leadership couldn’t control a small group of ignoramuses in its ranks has brought disgrace on their party. But oddly, Obama’s passivity made it hard for responsible Republicans to control their destructive children. Continue reading
The Catholic’s Examination Of Conscience Guide To The NFL Playoffs
Game on, football fans. The NFL playoffs are underway as I write this, and across this great land, millions of Catholics will be watching the games and rooting for teams.
But which teams can Catholics root for, and not be guilty of committing serious sin? If only there was some way of knowing.
Introducing the Catholic’s Examination of Conscience Guide to the NFL Playoffs, measured by the Moral Culpability Scale of Sinfulness, or MCSS, ranging from 1-10, with 1 = anathema sit!, and 10 = holier than the Pope. Teams with MCSS scores of 5.0 or higher are acceptable for Catholics to root and cheer for. If you’re pulling for teams with scores under 5.0, well, you might want to have a chat with your spiritual director before you get penalized for Immoral Procedure.
So let’s look at the individual teams and see how they rate. Keep in mind, this is focusing on teams and where they play, not personnel or coaches or anything like that. Current players are not being considered or mentioned in this examination of conscience. Because I say so. Continue reading
Happy New Year and Welcome to Arrakis!
Happy New Year to all our readers. Clan McClarey spent New Year’s Eve in our usual fashion in watching the movie Dune (1984) a movie so wretchedly bad that it is good, if watched as an unintentional comedy! When the film was originally released the introduction to the film consisted of the above video by Princess Irulan, portrayed by Virginia Madsen, a very minor character in the film. When it was determined that the introduction merely confused already confused moviegoers more, at least those who had never read Frank Herbert’s novel Dune, a new introduction was made up when the film was released on television:
Upon its release the film was nearly universally panned. David Lynch, the director, disowned the film, and adopted the pseudonym of Alan Smithee, a name traditionally adopted by directors of films that turn out so badly that the directors do not want their names attached to it. The film earned the title of worst film of the year by film reviewers Siskel and Ebert. Janet Maslin in the New York Times gave the film one star, and regarded it as completely incomprehensible: “Several of the characters in Dune are psychic, which puts them in the unique position of being able to understand what goes on in the movie”.
Why is Dune such a grand buzzard of a film?
1. Confusing. Audiences were simply asked to take in too much of an immensely complicated science fiction setting. Now if they had simply had this catchy tune at the beginning of the film, perhaps some of the confusion could have been eliminated:
2. Overacting. A prime example:
3. Sting. Dune was the movie where Sting amply demonstrated that he could not act to save his singer soul. His role is actually fairly minor. But he does have a climatic fight scene where he jumps around like a deranged gerbil and comes off as silly rather than menacing:
Ave Atque Vale Cheeta
One of the last remaining survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood has passed away:
Back in the Sixties the old Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies were replayed endlessly on TV, and as a boy I loved them. Completely inaccurate as to Africa, and with plots as skimpy as some of the costumes worn by Maureen O’Sullivan as Jane, they were always good, and, not infrequently, hilarious entertainment. I have always treasured Tarzan’s commentary on the legal system in Tarzan’s New York Adventure (1942) where an evil circus owner is attempting to use the courts to win custody of Boy: Continue reading
Vader, Did You Know?
Hattip to Mrs. Darwin. Well, it beats The Star Wars Holiday Special (Don spits.) by a few light years! Of course this is merely an intro for a Very Vader Christmas! Continue reading
10 Differences Between Obama and Jesus
Matthew Archbold started this meme over at Creative Minority Report, and I am going with it:
10. Jesus cured the sick and the lame. Obama is lame.
9. Jesus walked on water. Members of the Obama cult think Obama walks on water.
8. Jesus drove the money changers from the Temple. Obama squeezes them for contributions.
7. Jesus said “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” Obama only got the first four words of that quotation.
6. Jesus was a Jew. Obama is a (fill in the blank.)
5. Jesus rode a jackass into Jerusalem. Obama relied on the votes of jackasses to ride into Washington. Continue reading
Become a Certified Catholic Priest For a Low, Low Price!
Christopher Johnson, the non-Catholic proprietor of Midwest Conservative Journal who has taken up the cudgels in defense of Catholicism so frequently that I have named him Defender of the Faith, has a brilliant spoof column, taking off from a news story on “let’s pretend” women Catholic “priests”:
Thank you for your interest in becoming a certified Catholic priest. We here at Certified Catholic Priests International, Inc. have helped thousands of people around the world to lead richer, more fulfilling lives as certified Catholic priests.
You probably have lots of questions. The first question everyone asks is, “Do I have what it takes to become a certified Catholic priest?” Our research staff here at CCPI has put together this quick aptitude test to help you find out.
(1) The Roman Catholic Church was founded by: (A) Romulus (B) Former Los Angeles Rams quarterback Roman Gabriel (C) Jim Rome (D) None of the above
(2) “Missal” is: (A) A long-range rocket containing some sort of weapon (B) The opposite of “hittal” (C) What everybody in Council Bluffs, Iowa used to call Miss Alberta Leffingwell, head librarian of the Council Bluffs Public Library from 1939 until 1983 (D) None of the above
(3) When the telegraph was the only form of long-distance communication, the average amount of time that it took to complete one level of Angry Birds was: (A) Six months (B) Four years (C) It depended on the difficulty of the level (D) None of the above Continue reading
Well That Was Humbling
The Christian Science Monitor has a science quiz. I found it rather rough. I got 37 out of 50 right, and I am afraid quite a few of my correct answers were attributable to my knowledge of history, familiarity with Greek and Latin terms, and good guessing. Go here to take it, and report back to us in the thread below with the results! Continue reading
Star Trek TNG: To Blog Where No One Has Blogged Before
(originally posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
…alternatively titled “You Really Wanna Know What I Think Of Patheos?”
A Word to the Wise
Each year I run the above video as an act of Christian charity for our male readers. My bride and I on December 18th will be celebrating our 29th anniversary, so I assume that I must have some expertise in staying out of the marital doghouse. (Or perhaps I am married to a saint who will go straight to Heaven after putting up with me?) At any rate, one thing I do know is that once you get out of the doghouse, do not go right back in!
Obama =Theodore Roosevelt
The death-knell of the Republic had rung as soon as the active power became lodged in the hands of those who sought, not to do justice to all citizens, rich and poor alike, but to stand for one special class and for its interests as opposed to the interests of others.
Theodore Roosevelt
Well, I see that President Obama is seeking to emulate Theodore Roosevelt. I have been thinking about it, and Obama is exactly the same as Roosevelt. Let us count the ways:
1. Theodore Roosevelt raised the Rough Riders regiment and was awarded the medal of honor for his extreme heroism in leading the charges of the Rough Riders up Kettle Hill and San Juan Hill in the Spanish-American War. He was the only man mounted in that fight and it is a miracle he survived. All accounts testify to his complete contempt for death that day. Obama was a community organizer in Chicago, a town noted for inclement weather.
2. Theodore Roosevelt was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for taking the lead in the negotiations which led to the treaty ending the Russo-Japanese War. Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George Bush.
3. Theodore Roosevelt wrote 43 books, his favorite topic being America, the land that he loved. Obama has thus far written two books on the subject that he loves above all else, himself.
4. Theodore Roosevelt was a highly religious man who regularly attended church. Obama engages in regular morning worship when he looks in the mirror to shave.
5. Theodore Roosevelt engaged in a never-ending battle against political corruption throughout his career. Obama and his associates have helped provide work for prosecutors investigating political corruption. Continue reading
Green Jobs and other Myths
Thank you Cartoon Klavan! Green jobs aren’t quite as rare as unicorns, but they are quite expensive. The notorious right wing rag, The Washington Post, has reported that the Obama administration has spent 19 billion of our money creating a grand total of 3, 545 green jobs. One cannot say of course that the White House has not been trying to create green jobs. For example, just look at the Solyndra company, now in bankruptcy. The Obama administration sent that company 535 million of taxpayer money, and agreed to a restructuring plan for the company’s debt which allowed two private investors to move ahead of the taxpayers. Then when the company began to imitate the Titanic, Energy Secretary Steve Chu had his minions thoughtfully contact Solyndra and had them hold off on employee layoffs until after the mid-term elections last year, lest voters be unduly alarmed at another half a billion down a green rathole. Continue reading
Call-to-Action: “Apparition Of Martin Luther Worthy Of Belief”
(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
(AoftheAP) Attendees at the Call-to-Action National Conference, held earlier this month in Milwaukee, were treated to a special announcement that brought cheers and tears of joy: the apparition of “St.” Martin Luther, who had appeared to an Omaha woman over a period of seven years, has been designated as “worthy of belief” by the CTA Board of Directors.
Marjoram Fennel, a former catechist in the Archdiocese of Omaha, was warmly accepted by the CTA crowd, as she spoke to them about whom she calls her “special friend”. “At first I thought I was seeing things, or going crazy,” she explained. “But I soon discovered that we shared much in common, and his messages to me were comforting and uplifting.”
She was grateful to the Board for their pronouncement. Fennel told the crowd about the apparition’s circumstances. Continue reading
Remembrance of Turkeys Past
As we prepare for Thanksgiving tomorrow, and as we recall our blessings and thank God for each and every one, let us also remember the humble turkey and the various disasters that result when that proud bird is not treated with the care that it deserves, dead or alive. Oldtimers like myself will recognize the above video as part of the famous “Turkey Drop” episode from WKRP, a sitcom from the Seventies.
Of course Turkey Disasters are not, unfortunately, restricted to the realm of fiction. Deep frying a turkey poses various risks.
Here we have a case of the flaming avian:
William Shatner warns of the dangers of deep frying turkeys:
Should I Take the Case?
My
name is Isabella Minoru. I am contacting your firm in regards to a divorce
settlement with my ex husband Franklin Minoru who resides in your
jurisdiction.
I am currently on assignment in South Korea. We had
an out of court agreement for him to pay $623,000,00 plus legal fees. He has
only paid me $122,000.00 since.
I am hereby seeking your firm`s
assistance in collecting the balance from him or litigate this matter if he
fails to pay as promised because He has delayed for too long. If you are in the
position to represent me at the moment kindly advice immediately.
Your’s
Truly,
Isabella Minoru. Continue reading
Hollywood Is Just Too Conservative
It has long amused me that in a country with 40% of the population considering themselves to be conservatives, we have an entertainment industry so dominated by a political point of view that regards conservatives with contempt. Andrew Klavan, in his own inimitable fashion, explains how Hollywood distorts reality and presents it to us as entertainment.
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