PopeWatch: Safe Spaces

Saturday, December 10, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops met in Baltimore yesterday to discuss churches in the United States providing “safe spaces” from hostile Catholic teachings, such as abortion and same-sex marriage.

Bishops at the assembly said that serving Catholics that are emotionally distraught by certain Church teachings is “part of our identity as Catholics,’’ and pledged to provide safe spaces in every church in America.

‘‘We stand ready to work with frustrated Catholics and to provide them with safe spaces within churches where they may go during homilies that are hostile in nature,” bishops said. “Our duty as shepherds is to lead our flock not only to the good news of Jesus Christ, but also to the well of refuge from insensitive, unsympathetic, and judgmental teachings. That well ought to be within a cry room, which shall remain being called ‘cry rooms,’ as all are welcome to express their feelings, either by outrage or outright crying, within these rooms without feeling threatened by the glare of impolitically correct, rigid parishioners. I propose that these adult cry rooms should be specifically designed for emotional adults so that they may participate and partake in the Mass while being acoustically sealed off, so that they may not hear whatever is being spewed out of the mouth of an insensitive priest.”

 

The bishops went on to pledge that they will work to ease doctrinal rhetoric in churches, saying that “just like any other work place, a church is not an appropriate place to discuss politics or religion.”

At press time, bishops are voting on whether to grant a dispensation to Catholics who are still emotionally unsettled by Trump’s presidential victory from having to attend Mass until he is out of office.

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PopeWatch: Rigid Moses

Saturday, December 3, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber

 

Pope Francis on Monday warned against the excessive rigidity of the Ten Commandments and said “God gives us the freedom to search our own conscience for commandments.”

“I always try to understand what’s behind people who are too young to have seen Moses walk down from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments, and yet still they want to obey them,” Francis said. “Sometimes I find myself confronted with a very legalistic person who follows the Commandments and I ask myself, ‘Why so much rigidity?’ This rigidity in following the Commandments always hides something, insecurity or even something else.”

Pope Francis went on to say that, “Behind an attitude of always feeling like you must follow the rigidity of the Commandments there is something else in the life of a person. The Commandments are not a gift of God. The Beatitudes are because they are not a list of rules that stiffen us and make us rigid; they make us feel good.”

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As God is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly

Tuesday, November 22, AD 2016

 

Well actually some Turkeys can.  Wild Turkeys can fly, albeit clumsily and not more than about 100 yards at a time.  Domestic Turkeys, bred for the table, cannot fly, largely due to their overdeveloped chests, home to all that prized white breast meat.  I don’t know if the publicity stunt would have fared much better with terrified flying wild Turkeys landing near onlookers.  Some things man simply was not meant to meddle with, and that includes dropping Turkeys from great heights.

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PopeWatch: Instruction Manual

Saturday, November 19, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’ IKEA gift to them had numerous inconsistencies, four cardinals wrote a letter to him asking that he “resolve the uncertainties and bring clarity to the instruction manual for the armchair.”

“We the undersigned, but also many bishops and priests, ask that you provide the correct interpretation to page three of the IKEA instructions for your AMÖRIS Armchair gift,” the cardinals wrote.

They went on to add that “both theologians and scholars have proposed interpretations” of how to put the armchair together, especially its third and fourth pages, “which contradict one another.”

“Compelled by our pastoral frustrations over this hastily written instruction pamphlet, and desiring to put this chair together once and for all, that faithful visitors may sit upon it, we, with profound respect, ask you, Holy Father, as Supreme Teacher of Construction, called to confirm his brothers in the build, to resolve the uncertainties and to bring clarity to these vague images of nuts, bolts, and other material that we cannot distinguish.”

A foreword to the letter states that the main issue regarding the instruction manual is that the legs of the armchair shown in the instructions in page five were not included in the box, giving the chair “no legs to stand on.”

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PopeWatch: Saint Luthor

Saturday, November 5, AD 2016

 

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

In a press conference aboard the papal plane this morning, Pope Francis confirmed reports that he would be investigating the life and works of 16th century “reformer” Martin Luther, stating that it was better late than never in “the Church’s eternal quest for ecumenism.”

On October 15, Pope Francis welcomed a number of Lutherans from Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Germany to his residence in the Vatican, and called Martin Luther a brave Christian who was trying his best to reform a financially corrupt Church, which automatically makes the person a saint in the Church’s eyes.

Francis also said that the pivotal character in the Protestant Reformation was in heaven, noting that “all Christians that fight against greed are saints.”

“From here on, paintings and statues of Martin Luther are welcome in all churches around the world, because he is blessed,” Francis told those gathered. “Christians who suffer ridicule today because they, in essence, overturn the tables of the money changers extend a reflection of Martin Luther’s courage and bravery.”

Francis went on to state that it was his hope that by this time next year, all members of the Catholic Church would be reciting the entire Ninety-five Thesis just after the Nicene Creed during Mass, and that the next Jubilee would commence by his walking through the “Holy Door” of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg where the Ninety-five Thesis was first posted.

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Nothing to Get Scared About. Really. Maybe.

Sunday, October 30, AD 2016

And scattered about it, some in their overturned war-machines, some in the now rigid handling-machines, and a dozen of them stark and silent and laid in a row, were the Martians–dead!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth.

 H.G. Wells, The War of the Worlds

 

Remember, no panicking.  All will be well.  Nothing to worry about:

 

Amateur astronomers are puzzling over a seemingly anomalous cloud that has shown up on images of Mars taken over the past few days. Is it really a cloud, or a trick of the eye? Does it really extend 150 miles up from the surface, as some of the observers suggest? And what churned up all that stuff, anyway? The amateurs and the pros will be trying to resolve those questions before the phenomenon fades away.

“It’s not completely unexpected,” Jonathon Hill, a member of the team at the Mars Space Flight Facility at Arizona State University, told me today. “But it’s bigger than we would expect, and it’s definitely something that our atmosphere guys want to take a look at.”

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