News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An unidentified man at a local Subway location was seen asking the Sandwich Artist on duty if they had a sandwich that has good stopping power that’s also compact and easy to conceal.
The customer arrived at the restaurant and reportedly asked the worker behind the counter if she had anything that would be effective for home defense.
“I’m looking for something lightweight and easy to conceal that I can still pull out in a pinch to stop a threat,” the man reportedly said. “Something manageable that won’t kick too hard but has sufficient stopping power.”
“No olives,” he added.
According to Subway, several customers had changed the way they shop for sandwiches, prioritizing accuracy and reliability over flavor. Sandwich Artists have had a hard time keeping up with demand.
“We have, uh, we have our famous Cold Cut Combo. That’s good for any occasion. But the Subway Club has a little more bite to it. Is that what you mean?” Nancy Roast, the Sandwich Artist on duty, asked.
The interaction lasted approximately five minutes, with the unidentified customer questioning the durability and carrying capacity of the meatball sub. “Do you sell extra meatballs?” he asked. “What if I’m surrounded and, uh, I run out of meatballs?”
Go here to read the rest. The Dimwit State.
Once threatened with being stabbed, My response was: “I will come back and get you and you cannot kill me twice.”
Religious truths as self-defense.
(He ran like hell.)
Sticks and stones will break my bones but footlong meatball sub will never hurt me. What was he upset about? Seems like a waste of a good sandwich.
Throwing a sandwich, throwing a shoe ( George Bush ) or just throwing a tantrum. It seems the Karen’s of the era have chosen their weapon. Nothing quite says duck as a woman screaming her lungs out. Yikes.
He was upset because the President ordered the Federal government to take over the policing in the Federal District of Columbia (DC). We found out that he was an employee of the Department of Justice (DOJ) and was fired the next day.
He was channeling his inner Jared. Poor Subway. They didn’t need any other bad news.
What did he think was going to happen? And it figures that he was employed by the department of Injustice.
I’m surprised you didn’t go with this one 😀
I used that one yesterday! The memes write themselves on the crazed sandwich slinger!
Years ago, some clown hit local politico Wille Brown with a pie in San Francisco. The Left wanted to laugh it off, but most (including me, who detested Brown) warned: “If you let the pie go, the next time it’s a rock or a baggie with acid. Make a point and make the clown serve a little time”. Some time in the pokey would make a point with the Subway Commando, too.
Essentially throwing, essentially, a tomato should not end up with a felony. Prosecution, yes, but not a life altering felony conviction. It was a crime of passion and momentary idiocy.
As a (former) federal employee, he already paid dearly for this. His job and benefits evaporated- possibly pension too. Additionally, there is a strong possibility that his government skill set is useless in the private sector and he will have a hard time getting work.
I’m not saying I love what he did, but a sense of proportion must be maintained.
“Essentially throwing, essentially, a tomato should not end up with a felony.”
He is 37 years old and held a responsible position in the government. He should have known better. In DC I doubt he will be convicted, but I weep no tears for him going through the process, especially considering how the DOJ, of which he was a minion, treated as felons hundreds of non-violent J6 defendants. “By your own standard will ye be measured.”
“He was channeling his inner Jared”
Light On 😎 thanks for the smile.
He’s been overcharged.
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There’s been some confusion over who he is as the Department of Justice employs a trial lawyer named Sean Dunn. He’s not that person. He worked in segment of the Criminal Division concerned with international offenses; it’s not clear what his job was.
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Lacy pink shirt, shorts a certain length, gold chain, and (you can see from some angles) a little rose tattoo’d on his chest. He’s either gay or cosplaying gay for some reason. It’s also a reasonable wager he was on something. Poppers and meth are popular among homosexual men.
Not sure what the DC code prescribes. In New York, this bag of behaviors I think would be labeled ‘disorderly conduct’, ‘harassment’, ‘assault’ (perhaps), and ‘obstructing governmental administration’ (perhaps). The first two are submisdemeanor ‘violations’ and the latter two are ‘class A misdemeanors’. An abnormally harsh sentence would be six months and change in the county jail.
In New York Art, an assault on a cop on duty is automatically assault in the second degree, a Class D felony. A first time offender would probably escape jail time upon conviction, but time in the county slammer or prison time would be a possibility.
Subway was part of the Jussie Smollett hate crime hoax.