Pope: Norteamericano bald eagles are attacking the Vatican?
Cardinal: Not attacking Holiness. They are circling the Vatican and chanting in Latin.
Pope: Gringo eagles can speak Latin?
Captain of the Swiss Guard: Apparently Holiness, but I don’t know if I would call them Yankees.
Pope: Que?
Captain of the Swiss Guard: They are chanting Deo vindice, God is our Defender, roughly translated, the motto of the Confederacy.
Pope: How many of them are there?
Cardinal: Twelve Holiness, just like the birds that Romulus purportedly saw.
Pope: What does that signify?
Caridnal: Holiness that is for you to say, since you are the Pontifex Maximus.
Pope: Has the world gone utterly loco? What is that sound? Is Gabriel sounding his Trump?
Donald Trump strolls in: Evening Holiness. Since I am going to Paris I thought I would stop by and pay my respects. Say, whats up with the eagles?
The Pope screams and then his alarm clock finally rouses him: That is the last time I will let that Gringa nun make mushroom pizza for my table.
Plausible. 😁