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PopeWatch: Chicken

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Several bishops from across the globe announced today that they are considering allowing divorced and remarried Catholics to receive Chick-fil-A.

The bishops considering the controversial move of allowing those in invalid marriages to receive a chicken sandwich, though in the state of adultery, told the press that it should be left to a bishop’s discretion as to whether an individual is in a state of grace, and therefore, be allowed to “indulge in a Spicy Chicken or Deluxe sandwich.”

“Though we have not yet come to a final decision, it is true that we are indeed leaning toward endorsing Pope Francis’ call to give Chick-fil-A to people who are divorced and invalidly remarried, even if they are sexually active,” representative of the bishops, Jon Dowry, told EOTT in a brief statement. “We believe that it may be more hurtful to deny them this most spectacular meal than to stick with archaic rules. It may be, in our humble opinion, better that they eat of Chick-fil-A and remain close to Christ than to leave for a more open and accepting branch of fast food chains.”

Dowry went on to call other bishops to consider whether it would be good, if only in exceptional circumstances, to allow their divorced and remarried couples from receiving this gift from God that He may strengthen them.

 

Go here to comment.  PopeWatch attempted to contact the Pope for contact, but was shuffled to the Pope’s Fifth Assistant Secretary, Sister Perdita.  She said that she did not know what the Pope’s opinion would be on this, but that she had heard him say, on more than one occasion, that chicken prepared by Gringos tasted like asbestos to him.  And with that PopeWatch will be on vacation hiatus until August 6.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

5 Comments

  1. This is pure genius. I wish it weren’t so funny.
    “What happens when one uses a plastic straw?”
    Pope Francis will declare California a mission territory and send Ann and Paul Erhlich to euthanize the population.

  2. THIS IS BlasPHemY!
    What’s next??? Give them holy chocolate shakes while your at it! (sarcasm). I’m mad as hell. If the potatoes, fried in olive oil, are included in the “Happy” meal for divorced and remarried I’m going to leave the church. This is the kind of thing that will destroy fast sacred food FOREVER!!! ( that’s a long time. )

Comments are closed.