Phil Lawler explains how to be a respected Catholic journalist in the age of Francis:
- Wake up, shower, have a good cup of coffee, and jump on Twitter.
- Begin the day by denouncing any criticism of Pope Francis. (You’ll want these tweets posted early in the morning, East Coast time—right about when Vatican officials break for lunch.)
- Next, denounce anyone who has dared to disagree with your analyses of Vatican statements.
- Don’t just disagree; impugn the integrity of your adversaries. Question their motivations.
- Accuse them of calumny, blasphemy, and schism.
- Demand retractions. Threaten lawsuits.
- Then, to close out a busy day, deliver a magisterial lecture on how Catholic commentators must learn to disagree politely.
Go here to read the rest. Additionally one must learn, if male, to shave without looking directly in the mirror, and, if female, to apply makeup without looking directly in the mirror.