To Do List For The Pope

6.  Put Chicago under an interdict until the driving of Chicago motorists improve.

‘7.  Have a film night for The Untouchables (1987) at the Vatican.

8.   Install a Portillo’s in the Vatican.

9.   Give Kukla, Fran and Ollie a retrospective at the Vatican.

10.  Declare that Bozo’s Circus  was the only true form of Bozo the Clown.

5 1 vote
Article Rating
21 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ezabelle
Ezabelle
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 2:39am

11. Declare calling His Holiness “Da Pope” a mortal sin.

12. Stamp all Papal Bulls with the Chicago Bulls seal logo. (That might break their 27 year NBA Championship drought)

David WS
David WS
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 4:36am

Please no!
If Chicago motorists are put under an interdict until the driving improves,, I fear Boston motorists will be outright condemned.

Elaine Krewer
Admin
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 4:56am

13. Parishioners can call “dibs” on their pew seats before every Mass
14. Large communion hosts will be cut tavern style (in squares) rather than wedges
15. Novena to St Jude will be offered four times a year, at the beginning of the White Sox, Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks seasons

Penguins Fan
Penguins Fan
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 8:16am

I hope Mr. Turley never sets foot in Western Pennsylvania. Heinz Ketchup on hotdogs is a sacred tradition here and I defy anyone to try to stop it.

Greg Mockeridge
Greg Mockeridge
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 8:32am

Dogmatically declare Great Mistakes, Naval Training Center, Great Lakes, Illinois an official part of purgatory!

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 9:28am

This photo is from an unapproved apparition north of Chicago that took place in 1980 at a rest stop off of Hwy 94, forty four minutes south of the Wisconsin boarder. The Archangel Raphael is said to have appeared at the rest stop to a tractor trailer driver named Orlo Greene.

Greene was given this hot dog, as it is shown, no ketchup mind you, as a model for future hot dog dressings. Greene said that the angel spoke one word and one word only;

“Eat.”

Will Pope Leo XIV intervene?

😎

1000001598
Pinky
Pinky
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 10:10am

If our Leo XIV truly respects the poor and the worker, he wouldn’t excommunicate the Packers.

Last edited 11 months ago by Pinky
Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 11:14am

Ditto to Greg Mockeridge – “Dogmatically declare Great Mistakes, Naval Training Center, Great Lakes, Illinois an official part of purgatory!”

The frozen part of Purgatory. Was there for Electronics Technician “A” in the winter of 76-77. More miserable than bootcamp.

Penguins Fan
Penguins Fan
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 11:29am

Having driven through Chicago four times in one week to take my youngest son to the ICKSP camp in Wausau, Wisconsin in July 2023, Chicago drivers and traffic are a form of purgatory all its own.

Now, for the hot dog devoid of ketchup…had this occurred in Brighton, Pennsylvania (Beaver County, think Aliquipoa and Beaver Falls…Mike Ditka and Joe Namath) it would have been considered the work of Satan (Brighton is home of the Brighton Hot Dog Shop…with Heinz Ketchup available for your hot dog).

Elaine Krewer
Admin
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 1:26pm

In the interest of doctrinal clarity, Pope Leo should specify that the ketchup ban applies only to Chicago style hot dogs; other hot dog rites are not affected.

Michael Buck
Michael Buck
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 1:38pm

Immediately order the performance of an exorcism at Guaranteed Rate Field.

Penguins Fan
Penguins Fan
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 3:52pm

This why the wise Elaine Krewer is moderator and I am not.

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 3:53pm

Elaine.

This could be Pope Leo’s first Papal Bull.
Your reasoning is sound.

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 3:56pm

POPE LEO WISH LIST
by Shane Schaetzel on Twitter / X.

These are the things I would like to see happen under the pontificate of Pope Leo XIV. I’ll try to keep it reasonable and realistic….

1. Bishop Strickland restored or placed somewhere suitable for his calling. The same goes for all other bishops wrongfully removed from their dioceses.

2. Traditionis Custodes repealed.

3. The creation of ordinariates for the SSPX, to end the canonical irregularity, and all traditional societies folded into those ordinariates.

4. Fiducia Supplicans repealed.

5. Amoris Laetitia corrected (clarified).

6. Abu Dhabi Declaration corrected (clarified).

7. Corrections (clarifications) made to the catechism emphasizing Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation.

8. Some kind of document like Summorum Pontificum which permits all priests to celebrate the Novus Ordo Mass ad orientem, and celebrate the mass in the most traditional way possible.

9. Some kind of document that emphasizes the right of the laity to receive communion on the tongue while kneeling and encouraging priests and bishops to make necessary accommodations.

10. A reorientation of ecumenical dialogue to prioritize reunification with the Eastern Orthodox.

Penguins Fan
Penguins Fan
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 4:51pm

LQC, I might move #10 on your list to #2 or #2A. I have great respect for Eastern Orthodox (I don’t agree with it all) but there needs to be, at least to start, some listening sessions hosted by His Holiness involving the various Orthodox bishops. I have no illusions of Moscow or Mt. Athos, but their absence is no reason not to proceed. Orientale Lumen was a tremendous encyclical, but largely ignored. In the same vein, some greater recognition of our Eastern Catholic Churches on the part of the faithful of the West would not hurt, either.

Mary De Voe
Mary De Voe
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 9:58pm

Secret Confession, no more Rupnik; altar rails to define the sanctuary; tabernacles, front and center.
When we moved from New Jersey into a church where pews were assigned, we were glared at the whole Mass. Never went there again. Got to be something better to do during Mass then glare.
Kneelers replaced. Protestants removed kneelers centuries ago.
Stained glass windows for the edification of children and the beauty of the windows at night. The old churches have stained glass windows. Why can’t we?

CAG
CAG
Friday, May 9, AD 2025 10:36pm

Protestants removed kneelers centuries ago

I think they invented the pew as well …

Come, let us stand around before the Lord, let us wait in line before the God who made us

~ Psalm 95:6-ish

… As far as what Pope Leo XIV has on his to do list, I hope a public trial for Marco Rupnik is near the top. And making the Italian beef sub the official sandwich of the Church should be in the top ten. (St. Giardiniera, ora pro nobis)

Mary De Voe
Mary De Voe
Saturday, May 10, AD 2025 2:49am

I watched Inherit the Wind, the Scopes Monkey Trial. Scopes’ lady friend tells him that as a public servant he must do as the public wants. In evolution, Roe v. Wade and in Hugo Black’s removal of prayer from the secular place, atheism denies the reality and truth of the human being’s immortal sovereign soul with free will, intellect and sovereign personhood. 
Father Robert Spitzer of Spitzer’s Universe on EWTN tells us that archeologists have determined that man became conscious of himself about 70,000 years ago, when man began burying his dead with ritual. 
The Bible tells us in Genesis that God breathed a soul into Adam.
All souls are in the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Sacred Heart of Mary from Adam until the end of time for Jesus died for each and every soul before all ages.
“And for the support of this Declaration with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our Sacred Honor.” From July 4th, 1776 American citizens are free and encouraged to pray for “the protection of divine Providence” every where. And in gratitude to give thanksgiving for “the protection of divine Providence”.
Atheism, atheistic Hugo Black, atheistic evolution, Roe v. Wade all have one thing in common…ignorance; destruction of the human person.
And again in the Preamble to our Constitution” the written purpose of our Constitution “to secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity”. “Posterity” is all future generations who are being slaughtered in the womb in violation of “divine Providence” Yours, mine and ours in joint and common tenancy “our Posterity, our constitutional Posterity” is being murdered.
“Knock and it will be opened to you. Ask and it shall be given to you” Freedom

After Consecration of the Sacred Species, all souls until the end of time are in the Sacred Heart of Jesus on the altar. Pope Benedict XVI tried to have the kiss of Peace moved to before transubstantiation. Leaving Jesus on the altar to kiss somebody ignores his very soul already on the altar.  
Mary De Voe

Mary De Voe
Mary De Voe
Saturday, May 10, AD 2025 3:04am

CAG:
At the Last Supper, the Apostles sat…on pews?

CAM
CAM
Saturday, May 10, AD 2025 6:02am

Regarding # 9. The Arlington Diocese cathedral has been upgraded from the 1960s. Most of the churches are having are adding altar rails with padded kneelers. The new churches are built with that. At ours most kneel for reception of the Eucharist but some elderly prefer to stand because of knee problems. There is only one priest at our new (2022) church and he celebrates Mass ad orientam. The congregation has gotten used to it. Notice that at the 0900 Mass if the deacon is present incense is used frequently.

trackback
Saturday, May 10, AD 2025 10:47pm

[…] of Darkest Evil’, Explosive Device Detonated on Allentown Parish Chapel Altar – The PillarTo Do List For The Pope – Jonathan Turley via the American CatholicProblems in the English Translations of Vatican II […]

Scroll to Top