News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
LONDON — The British parliament has convened for an emergency session to investigate the events of July 4th, 1776 in the colonies across the Atlantic. Sources indicate an illegal insurrection took place there that cost many lives.
“Blimey! These cheeky colonists are quite literally — and I’m LITERALLY not exaggerating here — an existential threat to democracy!” said MP Peasley Peckinposh III to a chorus of “hear hears.”
The Prime Minister has directed the House of Commons and the House of Lords to form a committee that will hold televised hearings on the matter every night for at least 100 fortnights. “We have to get to the bottom of this, and find out what these dodgy Americans are up to,” he said.
The commission is already prepared to read the 250-year-old testimony of an American defector who claims George Washington grabbed the reigns of his horse and assaulted him on his way to Independence Hall in Philadelphia.
Go here to read the rest. This might help them out:
Contemporary MPs like Edmund Burke warned the Crown and cabinet to back off and return to the policy of “salutary neglect” that let the colonies run their own affairs. Burke famously told Franklin he was “heartily sorry” his mission of reconciliation failed. While that might only have delayed separation, it might have been less bloody or possibly even divided the colonies into “republicans” and “free-staters” (to use an Irish analogy) with what consequences we can speculate.