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I Resemble That Remark

 

 

From LarryD at Acts of the Apostasy:

 

Horace MacTaverson, long time parishioner at Our Lady of Special Occasions, told AoftheA News this morning that he’s mighty unhappy it’s likely he won’t get to park in his regular spot this Easter.

“First row, next to the last handicap space,” he growled. “8:30 Mass, every Sunday mornin’, for the past thirty-one years.” Horace stared off into the distance and noisily clicked his partial upper plate. “Except on Easter. And that one time it snowed so hard I couldn’t make it up the drive, but that don’t count none.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Those dang Chreasters, showin’ up two times a year, actin’ like they own the place, parkin’ wherever they dang well feel like it,” he grumbled. “No respect, I tell ya. No respect!”

Horace ran his weathered hand through his sparse hair. “This is gonna mess up my mornin’ schedule. Instead of arrivin’ at ten minutes past the hour like always, I hafta get here at ten minutes before the hour, and even that’s no guar-own-tee my spot won’t be taken!”

His jaw clenched. “Just thinkin’ about this is gettin’ my goat. My whole Sunday mornin’ routine is gonna get screwed up. I hope Father says sumthin’ about this in his sermon, give these Chreasters the ol’ what for. Downright rude, coming to Easter Mass and makin’ me park somewhere else. But he’ll prob’bly just talk about love, and peace, and other stuff like that.”

Horace wagged his index finger. “And don’t get me started about my seat being taken neither! Third row, on the aisle, behind the Pattersons.” His shoulders shook with a violent quiver. “God, Easter is the worst.”

 

Go here to comment.  The influx of twice a year Catholics at Christmas and Easter does not bother me since one never knows when grace will strike home in any human heart.  However do not speak of the driving ability of Catholics after Mass, because then I do go into full grouchy old man mode!

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

3 Comments

  1. Even though a Protestant my father attended Mass on his own when he travelled in the Air Force; invited missionaries to our quarters when stationed overseas, in fact, had many priest friends; and insisted that my brother and I attend Catholic school. After every Sunday Mass at St. Thomas More we’d be sitting in traffic which would trigger his tangent about the “so-called Christians in the parking lot.” He couldn’t understand how Catholics could receive Christ at Mass and then afterwards be so rude exiting the parking lot. He always said it was a factor in delaying his conversion. He joined the church at age 55. Died at age 90. We all still miss him 13 years later.

  2. Eye contact seems to be a big plus… or having small children that delay you half an hour getting out.

    Hey, I think I figured out why the “donuts after mass” thing started!
    (We always go on Saturday if possible, but the effect is the same.)

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