Tuesday, March 19, AD 2024 5:55am

PopeWatch: Seasonal

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Just in time for the start of Fall, local hipster priest Fr. Kale Adams announced this morning that he has consecrated his first batch of Pumpkin Spice Eucharist.

Although the seasonal pumpkin flavor of Jesus’ body has been condemned by the Vatican, Fr. Adams has told his parishioners that they’re not sheep, but rather, “free souls that can’t be contained by the man or the Vatican.”

 

“Pumpkin Spice Eucharist allows me to express myself and my love for JC in ways you wouldn’t believe,” Adams told EOTT as he sat down to finish knitting a cover for his iPad. “And listen, to all those establishment bishops in Rome,  I was consecrating before it was cool. And that’s why my parishioners dig me and why so many of them have returned to the Church in the first place. You gotta give them what they want. And what they want is Jesus…Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, with a flawless blend of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, and ginger.”

At press time, Fr. Kale Adams is trying on his brand new hemp vestments.

 

Go here to read the comments. PopeWatch called the Vatican for comment but was kept on hold for 15 minutes listening to the Broadway Cast of Hair.

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Philip
Philip
Saturday, October 1, AD 2016 4:30am

I know the above is “humor,” but the splendor of Truth is sweeter than milk and honey.

What JOY!

Mary De Voe
Saturday, October 1, AD 2016 10:13am

How timely and necessary. Raisin cinnamon and chocolate chip Eucharist have defiled the bread and wine for several decades. An argument ensued: If the wine is poisoned, must the priest consume it after consecration. Poisoned wine cannot be consecrated, no more than cinnamon raisin hosts or pumpkin spice hosts. Thank you for telling the faithful. Without the will to love and serve Jesus even pumpkin spice with chocolate chips will not satisfy the human heart.

Philip
Philip
Sunday, October 2, AD 2016 4:44am

Across the pond to a liberal Church near you.

This is the problem of weak prelate’s and misguided leadership in the Holy Catholic Church. I thank God for our Holy parish and it’s remarkable priest, Fr. Donald Libby.

Not invoking Canon 915 is leading to all things unholy being rammed down the throats of parishioners aware and unaware.

http://www.catholicculture.org/commentary/otn.cfm?id=1177

Man up you Prince’s of Holy Church!
No more Church of Mush.

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