“I am powerless over other people…”Al-Anon World Service Organization Facebook Post
INTRODUCTION
I guess that most people reading this blog are in one or another of the stages of grief set forth in the featured image. I know I am. What I’ll try to do in this post is to relate how the 12 Steps (and some advice from my good lady wife, a historian) is helping me to move along that curve (the upper, not the lower). Those readers who have just awakened from a 90 year sleep and don’t know anything about the 12 Steps might go to the following links for information (here, here and here). I’ll not do background.
EARLY STAGES: SHOCK AND DENIAL
Before the election I listened to online homilies outlining why Catholics should vote for pro-life candidates. Two of these gave specific reasons why a faithful Catholic should not vote for Biden (they named him). I also attended online sessions of the Divine Mercy Chaplet and Rosary where prayers were given for a good outcome for the election.
Monday night: “Well, God…it’s up to you, now.”
Tuesday: my wife and I had agreed not to watch TV during the day or evening. Occasionally I sneaked a glance at the election thread on this blog. Florida was sure, and reports from the Rust Belt, particularly Ohio, were encouraging. I went to bed (10 pm, EST) not perturbed.
Let’s not give the blow-by-blow account of the remaining days, huge blocks of votes (mailed and otherwise) coming in for Biden, crucial Senate campaigns in Arizona and Colorado going down the tube,…. I thought this can’t be happening, those 100,000 votes coming in are frauds. Surely a recount or attorneys will clear this up.
Having witnessed 35 years of Pennsylvania elections, I knew that late votes from Philly and Pittsburgh were always adjusted to give the democrat candidate a come-from-behind victory, if the Republican’s apparent victory margin was small enough.
LATER STAGES: ANGER AND BARGAINING
Thursday and Friday it became clear that Trump was not winning enough to overcome possible fraudulent efforts, that fine Senatorial candidates like James in Michigan might not make it. And my sadness and anger grew. Although political discussions in our family have been out of bounds for the last 12 years, I thought of writing to two daughters—one a NY Times liberal, the other an Alinskyite radical. This heated email would say “Our liberties have been lost; the baby-killers have won; better start learning Chinese, for their puppet will be president; don’t worry about your parents, the euthanasia boards will put them away shortly; I am so sorry for my 11 grandchildren.” But my wife persuaded me not to. Because of the Wuhan flu, we’re not having a family Thanksgiving—possibly an hour Zoom get-together that day. I’m not sure whether I will make my case then (or need to), unmuzzled by my better half…we’ll see.
Where has the bargaining stage come in? Almost all of the internet and TV reports have conceded that Republicans will retain a slight majority in the Senate. If this is so, God willing, then the democrats’ threat to pack the Supreme Court and admit more states to insure a permanent majority for themselves will not be possible. Moreover, it appears that the democrat majority in the House will be much reduced, and it is likely that Nancy Pelosi will not be re-elected Speaker, and the influence of the “Squad,” the radicals, will be lessened.
Also, if Republican attorneys in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan are successful in casting out fraudulent and doubtful ballots, then perhaps the whole picture may change. By the way, here’s an interesting point: it’s in states with democratic governors and line officers that these late comeback votes for Biden have come in. Ohio has a Republican governor and had an 8% margin for Trump that was maintained over the big city votes for Biden. Is that a coincidence?
So my bargain will be to contribute affordable amounts, a widow’s mite, to legal efforts in my own state, Pennsylvania, and to Republican candidates for the Georgia Senate seats.
LAST STAGE: ACCEPTANCE|DEPRESSION
Which of the two, acceptance or depression will be my last stage? At this time I’m not sure. I hope that it will be acceptance. My wife has lectured me on how to attain a historical perspective. The civilized Britons in the early 5th Century were distraught, no doubt, to see the Roman legions leave. The thought of barbarian invasions and pillaging would be disturbing, and they would have no knowledge of the “land of hope and glory” to come a millennium later. And she gave many more such examples.
The point being that we cannot know of God’s design, that what seems bad to us may well be a necessary preliminary to something good. Jesus’s Passion was the required step for our salvation. In any case, God has given man free will to do good or evil.
So, how can I hope to achieve acceptance? God’s grace is essential, but God has given us tools to help ourselves. One such tool is the 12 Steps program to recover from the depths of alcoholism, addiction and…. So that’s what I’ll address next.
HOW THE 12 STEPS CAN HELP US TO ACHIEVE ACCEPTANCE
Step 1 says
“We admitted we were powerless over ______ [fill in the blank: alcohol, drugs, gambling, lust, overeating, emotions, other people,….], that our lives had become unmanageable.”
And what is the blank for this? 50 years of corrupted education, perversion of the main stream media, the abrogation of a universally held judeo-christian moral code (beginning with allowing abortion and contraception)….. I can’t reverse history, even in my own family.
Steps 2 and 3 say
“2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
This is the tough part, giving up control and letting God’s will be done, which, by the way, does not mean succumbing to the heresy of quietism. God gave us free will for a purpose, to do good, even in the face of persecution:
“And you shall be hated by all men for my name’s sake: but he that shall persevere unto the end, he shall be saved. And when they shall persecute you in this city, flee into another. Amen I say to you, you shall not finish all the cities of Israel, till the Son of man come.”—Matt 10:22, 23 (Douay-Rheims)
Step 11 says
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
Ipse dixit, as my quondam sponsor was wont to say (he was given a classical education)—”It speaks for itself.”
So I will pray that God’s will be done and that I have some small part in bringing it about and, most importantly, that I understand what His will is.
Hold the grief:
Wait Just a Minute! Some Very Good News May Be Coming
By Jay Valentine
https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2020/11/wait_just_a_minute_some_very_good_news_may_be_coming.html#.X6gKpBlgwvY.twitter
Thank you and your wife.
Good post.
Personally I think I’m at the threshold of depression and going into acceptance with a hope for positive outcomes from the court. [ denial or naivete or just plain wishful thinking. ]
Whichever it is this following statement from you is one I firmly believe;
“The point being that we cannot know of God’s design, that what seems bad to us may well be a necessary preliminary to something good.”
Providence.
God bless you both, Mr. and Mrs. Kurland.
Well Mr. MD
Thanks a bunch for that link. It’s very optimistic and if he’s correct in his assumptions I would recommend that the business owners who boarded up their windows two weeks ago consider leaving the plywood up.
The voice of patience and tolerance from the left is a howling blast furnace when the rules for radicals crumple up into dust.
Things will most definitely get hot.
Notice how controlled the right has been thus far? Very patient, imo.
Thank you for writing this. I was SO in need of this article. It came to me just before morning prayers today. Our views and family issues are identical. I was even ostracized from a Catholic men’s faith group because I expressed these sentiments. I have been praying rosaries continuously about this. This article helped me to not feel so alone. Thank you again, Mr. and Mrs. Kurland. Mortuum Mundo, Vivum in Christo!
MD, thanks for the link; let’s hope Jay Valentine is giving the true word, and not in the denial stage.
PN & VTD, thanks for the kind words. God’s will be done, but that doesn’t mean sitting idly by and letting the bad guys do their thing without a fight.
I guess in 2016 the Left never got past the anger stage. Interesting that I have not seen Trump supports rioting so far in 2020. Imagine if the situation was reversed…
While the stages of grief are a very helpful tool– when used as a guidebook, not an instruction manual!*– there is the not-at-all minor issue that we ain’t dead yet, and the folks who wish to say they won aren’t behaving as if they won, either.
The folks who are just now realizing exactly how crooked things are? Especially as the media keeps telling lies of omission and half-truths? (How the HECK do they mention allegations of fraud and not mention the post office whistle blowers with video?)
That’s when articles like this pop up:
https://www.crisismagazine.com/2020/theyre-stealing-the-election
There are a lot of people who threw their hands up in the air right off the bat– we can’t forget that not giving them information can harm them, too.
Excellent point Foxfier; There are a lot of people who threw their hands up in the air right off the bat– we can’t forget that not giving them information can harm them, too.
Foxfier, thanks for the comment.
I’ve known people to get hurt because there was an expectation/demand that they have distinct stages, in order.
But I’d bet there are more people who are hurt because they don’t know about these stages of grief and, especially, the tools to deal with them.
Take heart, maybe our prayers for America are being answered.
Of the ~249M eligible voters, ~75M voted Biden, ~70M voted Trump, ~3M voted Libertarian or other, and ~101M did not vote.
There is the potential for great reform and change taking place:
https://conventionofstates.com/
https://www.judicialwatch.org/press-releases/new-jw-study-voter-registration/
It will take continuous prayer, education, and action. Remember, Ephesians 6:12: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
As a Catholic I cannot support a party of death and oppression, one who’s core platform is the ending of life in the womb up to labor, or leaving a new born to die (based on the decision of the State: https://youtu.be/Vx5QKTY-3MY).