From The Sadness of Christ:
Then all his disciples departed from him, and left him there alone.’
By this place, lo! may a man perceive how hard and painful a thing the virtue of patience is. For
many men are there very well willing even stoutly to die, how sure so ever they be thereof, so they may
give stroke for stroke and wound for wound, thereby to have some part of their will fulfilled. But Mary,
where all comfort of revenging is gone, there to take death so patiently as neither to strike again, nor for
a stripe to yield so much as an angry word, this must I needs confess to be so sovereign a point of
patience, that as yet were not the apostles themselves so strong as to be able to climb so high. Who
having it fresh in their remembrance, how boldly they had promised rather to be killed with Christ than
once to shrink from him, did abide at the least wise so far forth by the same, that if he would have
licenced them to fight and die manfully, they shewed themselves all very ready to have died for him.
Which thing Peter well declared too indeed, by that he began to practise upon Malchus. But after that
our saviour would neither suffer them to fight, nor to make any manner resistance, then left they him all alone, and fled away every
one.
It is one thing to have a hot sudden martyrdom. It is quite another to endure a cold martyrdom for years as Saint Thomas did.
