News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — The morning after Trump’s Florida home was raided by FBI agents, the former president took the time to thank the FBI for officially kicking off his reelection campaign.
“I would like to thank the F…B…I… remember them, the FBI? How about those beauties, huh?” said Trump to a roaring crowd of thousands outside his resort. “They came into my home to make your favorite president look like a criminal. Such losers, such losers. But everyone still loves me so it’s ok. They didn’t even find anything! I’m gonna be the President again!”
Sources close to Trump say his first act as President will be to fire his own appointed FBI Director Christopher Wray and replace him with a used dust mop from the Capitol janitor’s closet before razing the Hoover building and banishing all FBI agents to Gitmo.
“I’m gonna fire everyone, literally everyone in government,” said Trump. Federal Reserve? Gone! EPA? Gone! CIA? Gone! Department of Education? ATF? HHS? Gone, gone, gone!”
The news media responded to Trump’s statement by calling him a “threat to democracy worse than Hitler” while tearing their clothes and heaping dust upon the crowns of their heads.
Go here to read the rest.
This is not satire. This is God’s honest truth. What a watershed moment. Thanks Merrick Garland.
President Trump needs report it to the FEC as an in-kind campaign contribution or they’ll lock him up.
The question remaining is whether the sheep will eventually realize that the trip they are on is being led by the Judas goat in the White House to perdition on earth.
Also removes any ambiguity whether the right should prosecute opponents on the left guilty of crimes (ex. Hillary’s mishandling of classified information among many other things, Biden’s corrupt pay for play schemes, etc.) Previously there was always someone saying “If we do this, it will just cause the left to escalate” or “doing so would be legally justified, but it is better for a functioning democracy if each party does not take action against prominent opponents.” Neither excuse can be used credibly now.