The VP of M&Ms explains that they’re making the M&Ms characters more inclusive in order to “start a movement.” The girl M&Ms will be focused on “empowerment” while the orange M&M will “embrace his true self.”
This is not a parody pic.twitter.com/Fo7km8XTSD
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) January 20, 2022
News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
TALLAHASSEE, FL—In response to a progressive redesign of M&M characters, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed an Executive Order Friday to require the green M&M character to still be sexy in all advertising used in the state of Florida.
The character, simply called “Green”, previously had her go-go boots replaced by comfortable sneakers in a bid by the candy company to legitimize working-class candy women. Now the green M&M is super ugly, say “sexperts.”
“But not so fast,” said Governor DeSantis. “Not on my watch!” he shouted in a fiery press conference held at the governor’s mansion.
“As long as M&M wants to sell product in Florida they have to keep Green drop-dead gorgeous,” he said. “I’m tired of woke progressives making everything political so I’m going to draw further attention to this and make it even more political!”
“I believe in the American right to lust after oddly sexual cartoon characters!” he added.
Government officials applauded as the governor signed the executive order. DeSantis then hammed it up for the camera and shot out a few more zingers aimed at progressives.
“This is a slippery slope. They start with cartoon characters, but then start telling you how to dress. It’s already raising Pelosi’s eyebrows,” he said with a sly wink while shooting finger guns at the press. “Zing!”
Go here to read the rest. A decade or so hence:
Mom: Did you enjoy your visit with Grandma and Grandpa.
Kid: Sort of, but Grandpa keeps telling us crazy stories, like that in the afore time candy had no politics.
Mom: Just be thankful he was not attempting to explain the campaigns of Brasidas in the Peloponnesian War. That is what I grew up with.
M&Ms Introduce First Trans Character Who Identifies As A Skittle
⏩ https://t.co/5I8aG1axAH pic.twitter.com/afB87U1ba9
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 25, 2022
An m&m that identifies as a Skittle.
That’s funny….
What a world.
It’s gone completely mad.
Serious comment, the green M&M has been portrayed as the smart, take-charge female ever since she appeared in the ads. I never liked her. She always struck me as an example of Gilder’s Law of Advertising: women are smarter than men, children are smarter than adults, animals are smarter than humans. And the world of talking M&M’s being so disconnected with sexuality, I didn’t have the natural protectiveness that allows Gilder’s Law to operate. I just wanted to see one of the other M&M’s belt her. She’s an archetype bully.