Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 4:38am

PopeWatch: Negotiations

Sister Felicitas:  The representative of the Taliban is here for the talks requested  by the Pope, Monsignor.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:  Sigh.  (Why do they give me the impossible assignments.)  Show him in.  (I knew it was a mistake learning Pashto.)

Taliban Representative:  Salaam.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:  Peace be to you.

Taliban Representative:  We assume these talks were asked for because the Pope wishes to submit to Islam.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:  (This day keeps getting better and better.)  No, the Pope wishes to discuss human rights in Afghanistan.

Taliban Representative:  Human rights?  Ah, yes, that curious Western notion.  Humans as such have no rights.  Infidels and the Faithful have the rights and duties accorded to them by Sharia.  We will rigorously enforce both.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:  (I bet you will buddy.)  Surely your organization wants to have good relations with the rest of the world.

Taliban Representative: Much of the rest of the world has been doing its best to kill me and my brothers over the last two decades.  The opinion of the Infidel portion of the world means less than nothing to us.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:   Surely you will need economic aid for Afghanistan?

Taliban Representative:  The Faithful abroad will help us.  If some of the infidel nations wish to begin paying the Jizyah, we will be happy to receive it.  Otherwise we expect no help from our enemies.

Monsignor Inpossibilis:  Don’t you want to have peaceful relations with the rest of the world?

Taliban Representative:   Why?  By war in my lifetime we have humbled two superpowers.  By war we will spread Islam throughout the globe, and then, and only then, will the world know true peace.

Monsignor Inpossibilis: (This is worse than useless.) Do you have any message for his Holiness?

Taliban Representative:  The same message we have for all infidels.  Embrace Islam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Don L
Don L
Saturday, August 28, AD 2021 5:55am

…and so Satan quoted scripture to accomplish his evil…
Nothing new in the world.

T. Shaw
T. Shaw
Saturday, August 28, AD 2021 6:46am

Evidently [go to the video tape], the Taliban, in particular, and hajjis, in general, have 100-point higher IQ’s than anyone inside the Beltway and the Vatican.

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