Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 8:57pm

PopeWatch: Phone Call

Pope’s office in the Vatican.

Functionary:  Holiness, Vice President Harris of the United States for her scheduled 4:00PM call.

Pope:  Not that mujer again!  Dios mio!  Why can’t that crazy gringo Presidente call instead?  At least his calls are short.  Sighs.  Put the bruja on.

Veep:  Your Holiness, what an honor to speak with you again!

Pope:  Si, si.  To what do I owe the honor of your call?

Veep:  I, I mean the President, was wondering if you could be a guest at the White House on Independence Day, July 4, 2021 this year?

Pope:  (Thinking:  As if the gringo will still be Presidente then.)  I would be pleased to visit your lovely country again, but there is a protocol regarding international travel by me, especially during these times.  My staff will get back to you.  Anything else?

Veep:  Well Holiness, the President is somewhat disturbed by some opposition he is encountering from some Catholics in this country.

Pope:  (Thinking:  I doubt if the Presidente is aware of much beyond his bedtime and not being bitten by his loco perros.)  That is unfortunate.  I sympathize.  Many of them say harsh things about me also.

Veep:  In a puzzled voice:  But you are the Pope, don’t they have to do what you say?

Pope:  (Thinking:  Stupid gringa!)  Laughing:  Well, Vice Presidente, it is easy to tell you are not Catholic!  And I see that staff members are telling me that I am late for my next audience.  Adios!

And with that the conversation came to an end.

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