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PopeWatch: Fear the Dogs of God!

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Just a day after students at Indiana University mistook a Dominican for a member of the Ku Klux Klan, students and members of the faculty have been placed on high alert, with fears that the person in question could possibly be a devout Catholic praying on campus.

According to reports, Student Body President Allen Cheung wrote a post on Facebook saying, “There has been a person reported walking around campus in a Dominican outfit holding a rosary. Because the person is protected under first amendment rights, IUPD cannot remove this zealot from campus unless an act of violence is committed, like trying to convince students about the objective truths of Catholicism.”

“Please, PLEASE, PLEASE be careful out there tonight,” Cheung continued. “Always be with someone, and if you have no dire reason to be out of the building, I would recommend staying indoors lest you be indoctrinated.”

Other students also posted their own warnings on social media telling their roommates to keep safe and to remember that priests don’t approve of premarital sex or contraception, because of the “extreme hatred they have for anything fun or liberating.”

Indiana University officials put out a statement early this morning warning students to take proper precautions when going outdoors.

“We advise that students do not walk alone,” the statement read. “If you are confronted by the Dominican zealot, do not look him in the eyes, as this dangerous individual may attempt to convince you that you are a sinner, or worse, make you believe that not everything is acceptable just because it makes you feel good. Furthermore, should you run into this medieval time traveler, please remember atrocities he committed during the Spanish Inquisition, and that he has been trained in the art of manipulation and torture. If you are accused of being a witch or a Jew, admit nothing, and run to the nearest safe-space and call for help.”

PopeWatch contacted Pope Francis and asked for a comment.  I would not pick a fight with the Domincans!  Jesuits were founded to help beat back Protestantism.  Dominicans were founded to destroy the Albigensians.  You may judge their success by the number of Albigensians you meet!  Those gringo college students had better watch their step!

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

9 Comments

  1. In his remarkable first novel; Paranoia of the Paranormal, Dr.Ho Chen Wasabi expounded upon this phenomena that we witnessed at IU.
    The fear of being vs. the fear of thinking, is clearly evident at the nightmarish event.
    Sources close to the Obama administration have leaked that a movie made for television is in the works. The same sources indicate Tom Hanks will play the Evil Dominican and Michelle Obama is to play the dietician on the IU campus.

    Hopefully, with help from Hollywood, we can make others aware of this plague sweeping into university’s everywhere.

    PLEASE. PLEASE tell your friends and neighbors. Today, Rosary whips…tomorrow torture kneelers.

  2. If I wrote for Eye of the Tiber, I would have gone with “Klan Rally Disrupted by Rumored Priest Sighting”.

  3. Note to editor, making entire paragraphs into links is bad practice. The title of the article or the name of the website is sufficient.

    If you are accused of being a witch…
    –Eye of the Tiber

    Tsk, tsk, Mr. Eye. Witch hunting was a Protestant pastime. Where the Inquisition operated, there was virtually none of that.

  4. Micha-The Barry Soetoro Admn is considering investigating the “climate heretics.” Seems to me to have a heresy, you have to first have a religion. To have witches, you must first have believers. Next- vaccination heretics, flouride heretics, then hunt down those who say Velveeta is not food. Guy McClung, San Antonio,Texas

  5. Micha- if I remember right, since they applied the cutting edge in investigative principles, the Inquisition in Spain did investigate several accusations of Witchcraft.
    They just required evidence beyond “everybody knows.”
    In one case, the supposed witch accused himself, claimed to be able to pass through key holes, and was chased around the room by an Inquisitor with a broom who was yelling at him to vanish through a keyhole. (All details besides inquisitor, self-claimed, and chased with broom being told to go through a keyhole I’m not entirely sure of.)

Comments are closed.