Pope Francis Resigning! Pope Benedict Pope Again!

Pope Benedict and Former Pope Francis

 

 

In a shock April 1, 2013 announcement the Vatican has stated that Pope Francis is resigning today and Pope Benedict will resume his duties as Pope.

Pope Francis is quoted as naming two factors in his decision for resigning:  1.  The rich Italian  cooking that could get him up to 400 pounds if he stayed in Rome;   and 2.  Criticisms from Catholic blogs, especially in America.  Noting that his predecessor had warned him about reading the blogs, Pope Francis was disturbed by the divisions his election had caused.  “I do not want to be the cause of acrimony among Catholic bloggers.  If I stay as Pope it could be another “torture debate”, and I doubt if Western civilization could survive that.”

As for Pope Benedict, he is described as rested, fit and rearing to resume his duties as Pope.  Father Lombari, Vatican press spokesman, said that Pope Benedict feels 75 after weeks of sleeping all night and eating hearty monastery food.  As for blogs, Pope Benedict stopped reading them after the condom flap, according to Father Lombardi, although he conceded that the Pope did sneak a peak at Acts of the Apostacy for a laugh now and then.

Former Pope Francis announced that he would be willing to serve as “Vacation Pope” again if Pope Benedict needs a breather in the future, although if he does he will eat only Argentinian fruits and vegetables and abstain from reading blogs, at least American blogs.  Pope Benedict is apparently planning an encyclical on the subject of whether Christ played practical jokes and if Saint Paul had a penchant for puns.

11 Responses to Pope Francis Resigning! Pope Benedict Pope Again!

  • LarryD says:

    As for blogs, Pope Benedict stopped reading them after the condom flap, according to Father Lombardi, although he conceded that the Pope did sneak a peak at Acts of the Apostacy for a laugh now and then.

    I knew it!!

  • Elaine Krewer says:

    Actually, this sort of thing is doubly appropriate, as Easter Monday, also known as Bright Monday among Eastern Orthodox Christians, or as Dyngus Day among Poles, is traditionally a day for jokes and horseplay… in fact it might have been where the basic idea of April Fool’s Day came from.

  • Greg Mockeridge says:

    Fr. Lombardi just announced that newly reinstalled Pope Benedict will issue a Bull to erect the Index of Forbidden Blogs. It’s a out damned time if you ask me!

  • Anzlyne says:

    some may have read that title and felt a lift of hope in their hearts….

    but oh what a relief it is– it’s a joke! Yay! A little levity on a subject grown way too heavy way too fast- hey we hardly know the man yet. So many people throwing so much dust in the air they almost seem like a “hired” crowd of mourners and agitators.

  • Richard E. says:

    when I read the headline I said ‘what’ and hoping it was in relation to today, which it was. I will be sharing this.
    Last night I put some humor on my FB page that the Pres through executive order had declared today a National Holiday in honor of himself and would be a revolving holiday so it fell on the same day every year. two comments were, something like this would be expected and you have to be kidding, and then had to remind them what today was.

  • Kyle Miller says:

    I wish the closing of the Pope Francis & Holy Thursday thread was an April’s Fool joke. I didn’t get to mention how my parish washes the feet of children. Being we have a Pope Francis and our God given dominion over animals, I am not surprised if parishes start washing the paws of animals. Service to others includes our “furry friends.” Ugh. I guess I’ll be called many things for my position. Oh well.

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