Saturday, April 20, AD 2024 4:40am

A Word to the Wise

Each year I run the above video as an act of Christian charity for our male readers.  My bride and I on December 18th will be celebrating our 29th anniversary, so I assume that I must have some expertise in staying out of the marital doghouse.  (Or perhaps I am married to a saint who will go straight to Heaven after putting up with me?)  At any rate, one thing I do know is that once you get out of the doghouse, do not go right back in!

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T. Shaw
T. Shaw
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 7:55am

The evil, white European traders brought the Noble Native Americans glass beads, iron hatchet heads, and small-pox.

I learned the bauble lesson years ago.

This year, everyone else is getting ammunition. It makes a great stocking stuffer!

Chris
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 8:03am

Reminds me of the first gift I got for my ex-wife, back when we were still dating. Apparently a kitchen timer is not acceptable even if she happened to mention she wants one.

CatholicLawyer
CatholicLawyer
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 9:19am

Don it is my position that the “Wise” do not need more wisdom (word) but us foolish ones do. Unfortunately being foolish, we do not heed the word, so you end up casting pearls before swine. It is a vicious cycle that never ends. I wound tent to think your wife is the saint of the family since you are “a law talking guy”. Jking 😉

T. Shaw
T. Shaw
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 10:30am

I incessantly, silently repeat, “Forgive all injuries.”

Don the Kiwi
Don the Kiwi
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 12:27pm

My wife likes to mow the lawns.
One year I bought her a new lawnmower – half the town heard about it within days.
I got scowls from the women, and slaps on the back from the blokes.
She still uses it – but so does she use the new car I bought her the following year 🙂

Expensive make-up, eh?

CatholicLawyer
CatholicLawyer
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 2:47pm

Sorry for my poor spelling at the end – my bad.

Foxfier
Admin
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 3:47pm

So, is this a gift to the readers, then? *grin*

What some folks don’t realize when they hear “It’s the thought that counts” is that you have to think about the other person’s response, not that the act of offering something is what counts…. *laughs* I’d actually LIKE computer RAM for Christmas. Or those silly little window-crystals for crafting, even though cheap stuff is supposed to be another no-no. (Thing is, he’ll never top the second Christmas gift he gave me– he proposed. Talk about a get-out-of-the-dog-house card.)

A hint for people who don’t really want anything but want to help folks: pick some sort of inexpensive, silly thing to mention. I ask for silly, ugly, fluffy or strange socks; my mom use to collect bells, grandma had an amazing teaspoon collection, one grandmother-in-law collects frogs and the other collects orchids.

T. Shaw
T. Shaw
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 4:30pm

Of course, it helps immensely to know the Rules.

1. The female always makes the rules
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
16. The female is ready when she is ready.
17. The male must be ready at all times.
18. The male who doesn’t abide by the rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

Suz
Suz
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 5:42pm

T. Shaw
re: #14
watch your six, dude

t shaw
t shaw
Friday, December 9, AD 2011 6:47pm

Praise the Lord!

The Warden doesn’t surf the net. I’m safe.

Micha Elyi
Micha Elyi
Saturday, December 10, AD 2011 12:05pm

Meanwhile, I see the boob toob is urging females to gift their men tools so they can repair or remodel her house, presumably to her specifications.

A nice cradle Catholic wrote the book If Men Have All the Power How Come Women Make the Rules? He ought to be an invited speaker at every Catholic men’s and women’s conference.

Foxfier
Admin
Saturday, December 10, AD 2011 3:57pm

A nice cradle Catholic wrote the book If Men Have All the Power How Come Women Make the Rules? He ought to be an invited speaker at every Catholic men’s and women’s conference.

Guessing he didn’t use the short, simple and obvious but rude answer re: supply and demand, since you specifically call him nice….

If we’re going to drag reality into it, we’re going to get really depressing, really fast.

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