News that my cats failed to tell me about, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
Greetings, human! It has been some time since we’ve seen each other or interacted in any way. Therefore, as I have been thoughtful enough to grace you with my presence on this fine afternoon, I should think you’d be delighted to give me all of your love and affection. I shall sit over here in the corner and meow daintily, staring at you with my big, loving eyes, clearly demanding that you stop whatever dumb human thing you’re doing and come over here and give me 100% of your attention.
Wait, what are you doing? Why are you coming over here? You’re reaching out your hand; are you friggin’ kidding me?! Don’t do it! Don’t you — don’t you dare! I will literally murder you. I will stab you in the throat. I will make it so you wish you’d never been born, human scum. You dare to approach me, the royal queen of this home?! You think I want to be petted like some kind of common HOUSE PET?! SHOCKING! EGREGIOUS!
Go here to read the rest.
Madison WI could use a feline Police Chief.
The current one has lost his moxie;
https://www.youtube.com/live/MnD9cir0Soc?si=ypcS5JmFQINaayFH
To wit…(I blotted out the f bomb)