News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a dramatic turn of events, pro-life activist Lauren Handy was released from prison today after explaining that she was simply blocking an abortion clinic to help “Free Palestine.”
“It was for Palestine?? Oh, well, in that case you’re free to leave,” said Judge Kollar-Kotelly, immediately rescinding the six-year prison sentence. “This whole time we thought you were trying to stop baby murder! Gosh, we’re so sorry about the mix-up. Toodles!”
After serving a year in prison while awaiting sentencing, Handy recently discovered that blockading buildings and shutting down highways was totally cool so long as it was being done for Palestine. “Um, sure, it was totally for Palestine,” said Handy nervously. “Admittedly, I’m not sure why I’d block an abortion clinic for Palestine…but I’m also not clear on the connection between blockading philosophy buildings in Chicago and freeing Palestine. So, yeah…yay Palestine.”
Prosecutors with the Department of Justice were left speechless, with years of trying to crush the pro-life movement suddenly down the drain. “Crap, she figured out the Palestine trick,” said lead lawyer Stan McGill. “What a bummer. Oh well. There’s still probably a few Catholic grandmas who don’t know the right words to say… We can still blow down their doors and put them in the slammer. Let’s get back to work, boys!”
Go here to read the rest.
There is a hell and many a politician, law maker and dirty judge will wish they had developed a relationship with God, instead of Satan, when they had the opportunity.
Hamas never knew just how many antisemitic dweebs existed in the old red, white and blue.
Neither did I until recently.
Prior to the terrorists cells implementing their jihad in our country they might wish to consider a recruitment campaign. The universities are ripe with recruits..
Mommy and Daddy never would of imagined that little Tina would join forces to destroy America, but hey… they didn’t want to impose any organized religion upon their children when they were young.
Actually, the Catholic grandmas do know the right words.
More honor to them that they decline to lie in order to escape their persecutors.
Unlike their persecutors, they know the real Judge and have read up on His statutes.
Most of those ferals wearing the keffiyah who have implanted themselves outside of universities are not even Palestinian or Arab…They are western kids who probably don’t even know who Yasser Arafat was or who Mohammad Abbas is. It makes one feel embarrassed for them shouting about stuff they only know about by scrolling through 30 second Instagram reels.
No so much satire as reality. This AM news reported that the International Criminal Court issues arrest warrant for human rights violations against Netanyahu for military response to Hamas massacre of Israelis on Oct 7. Truly, the world turned upside down. On the other hand, it would seem providence has made a decision on the past brutalities of the Iranian President and its State Secretary yesterday.
She could also have said she did it because “Black Lives Matter”, and she would be telling the truth, given that a large percentage of aborted babies are Black.