Perhaps, especially, when you don’t feel Him, as was the case with Mother Teresa for most of her life.
Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Let them see that their cause be in grave danger, let them tremble.
For they cannot look away.
I believe that its when you don’t feel his presence is that is when he’s near you the most.
Relying on him in everything isn’t escapism, it’s acknowledgment that we truly can’t do anything good without Him.
All Glory be His.
All you can do is put that absence and those sufferings on the altar of your heart and burn them for the glory of God.