Nothing raises my ire quicker than having people come in to the law mines with a parent and show disrespect to their parent during my meeting with them. Such a thing was unthinkable to me when I was growing up, and it makes me blue and red when I see it. No parent is perfect, but outside of the handful who are outright evil, they all deserve respect from their kids, especially in the presence of a stranger. A man or woman who will turn on a parent is usually not to be trusted.
Memories
- Donald R. McClarey
Donald R. McClarey
Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three, one in Heaven, and happily married for 43 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.
It’s not only males who are disrespectful of a parent, I know of 5 daughters who have cut off comms with their mothers; they withhold grandchildren. All in their 30s and 40s. Is this some form of mental illness? One tells her mother to leave the Christmas presents in plastic bags on the front lawn Christmas morn. These mothers, close friends of mine, are loving, kind women. Sad situations.
I have a bad feeling it’s only going to get worse. I see a lot of my peers (early-mid 40 somethings) trying to be “besties” with their kids (especially daughters), and that kind of relationship is much easier to cast off later than a true parent-child one.
It’s one of the harder problems I have in the classroom and explains a lot of why I have to deal with whiny parents who see their “friend hurt” rather than their children being held accountable for their actions.
That said, if I had taken a swing at my dad at 14, I would’ve been dead meat, full stop. Interestingly, if my brother (six years younger) had done so, there would have been calls to “talk about why” and solve the problem.
Mysteries of the universe, indeed. Guess which one of us turned out tougher?
“Is this some form of mental illness?”
I suspect it has more to do with mental health counselors and numerous random people on the internet encouraging people to go “no contact” with family members who offend or upset them.
Now there are cases of parents being egregiously disrespectful or verbally abusive to their children or to their children’s spouses or significant others to the point that every visit, phone call, etc. becomes a source of dread rather than joy. Or it may stem from the parents being divorced and chronically badmouthing the other parent or expecting the children to choose sides.
In the past people were encouraged to preserve family ties as much as possible in any situation short of physical danger to themselves or their children. Today, however, it seems that people are much less forgiving and will go no contact if the parent seemed to favor a sibling, didn’t approve of their choice of spouse, career or lifestyle, criticizes how they raise their children, “ruined” a wedding or other family occasion, etc.
Take a swing at my dad? Are you kidding?
He wasn’t shy about disciplining his five sons. Being that I was number 4, I was privy to see the outcome of child challenges, and it wasn’t pretty. One elder brother was strong willed and the times were explosive. 1967-68. When my brother wore a black leather cap with a red star on it and had it on at the dinner table, that was it. The stresses of those years, The Establishment v. Flower Power, were at a climax and my brother left home immediately after graduation from high school. Stayed with an uncle on the West coast and then entered the Army.
The eldest went into the Navy as the draft was gobbling up the young men for Vietnam.
I would have been beaten to a pulp.
I have posted at length about the miserable situation I have with my older son. I never called the police to report his assaults on my person. Why? I have a complete lack of faith in institutions. After he had to appear in court in April, he followed through with his threat to report me for abusing him. It is so far a CYF case. I never abused my son. Argued..yes. Screaming matches…a few. No physical abuse from me.
I had an appointment this morning with an attorney that supposedly specializes in these cases. She wanted $150 in cash for a consultation. Well, I left the house too late to make the appointment, given Pittsburgh morning traffic and the law office is at the opposite end of Allegheny County from where I live. She refused to reschedule unless I sent a money order for $150. I will find someone else.
As for those who cut off their parents…I will bet it is college indoctrinated women and politics is part of the reason. Woke is not dead with young women.
Woke is not dead with young women.
For young women woke provides an alternative morality which imposes no demands on their sex life, although it now is demanding that they accept men as women, welcoming men into their bathrooms and into their locker rooms, which strikes me as misogyny at its worst.
**For young women woke provides an alternative morality which imposes no demands on their sex life, although it now is demanding that they accept men as women, welcoming men into their bathrooms and into their locker rooms, which strikes me as misogyny at its worst.**
Worthy enough to repeat. Imho. Great insight.
When the slippery slope turns out to be a landslide all you can do is watch in amazement and try as best as you can to help save one or two before the next shift occurs. The lifeline is sharing your faith with them. Mental illnesses needs the publics sympathy but by no means does it need the publics affirmation in the delusion. Truth.
Don’t leave home without it.
It’s all about me.
Everything on my terms.
Christ teaches love the other guy, for Christ’s sake. Without that underpinning, life becomes centered on self. Quickly, self fulfillment and self pleasure become your God’s, and they oddly fail to satisfy oneself.
“Lord, we are incomplete until we meet with Thee”
The words in the original question don’t make sense in that order. It’s unanswerable. It’s a category error.
Don, 100%!
I can’t even conjure up an imaginary scene of me taking a “swing at my father.” I wouldn’t even dare to contradict or talk back (not more than once, anyhow)!
We owe our parents a debt we can never repay.
Truth.
Don’t leave home without it.
That’s why I have 2 Of my many baseball caps.1 says Truth is undefeated. As in the divine Truth. The second says reality is undefeated.
I Wear them mostly around the 3rd daughter who picked up some crazy ideas attending university.
The kids got tired of hearing me say when they did something stupid “at some point reality intrudes.”
My Italian grandfather had a different way of putting it. He used to say “you wanna play bocce ball with your head, go ahead.”
The Fourth Commandment is the only Commandment with a promise.
“Honor thy father and thy mother that thou shall be long lived upon the face of the earth.
There were numerous times I was angry with both of my parents, my dad more than my mom. My dad expected me to be a valedictorian and a football star. I was neither. He demanded I go to college. I wanted to be an electrician. My parents never put away any money for tuition for me and I paid my own way, living at home and driving crummy cars. We got into a huge argument right before I graduated and it took me 5 1/2 years. I was 24. It took me another year to find a decent starting job.
Thing is, I always respected him. We did not always get along. I hated his drinking and his stubbornness and his favoritism to one of my brothers…the athlete…and the way he managed his money but the respect was always there.
Related to this woke and disrespect…Poland had a presidential election and the ruling coalition lost. This coalition took power two years ago on the strength of young people, mostly young women incensed about a Polish court ruling banning abortions in the case of situations such as Down’s Syndrome. The young in Poland flicked to Western Europe after Poland joined the EU and have brought back with them the EU’s sick policies. Poland was on the precipice of being Ireland and Spain and still may be. Time will tell.