The Bee gives us more tips for greater realism in our Thanksgiving celebrations:
We all know Thanksgiving is a time of family and delicious food, but is your Thanksgiving historically accurate? Tap into your heritage and spice up your holidays by making your Thanksgiving more true to history than ever before this year!
Here are some tips:
- Wait for half your relatives to die in the harsh winter before celebrating: You’ll have less drama.
- Invite famous Native American Elizabeth Warren to bring you a deer carcass: Delicious!
- Make the women do all the cooking over an open hearth: And have them ditch the pumpkin pie for a historically authentic eel pie.
- Ask Uncle Bob to deliver a 3-hour Puritan sermon before eating: It’s better than listening to his political rants.
- Weld an oil funnel onto your 12-gauge and go skeet shooting with your new blunderbuss: With a 10-foot spread, you can’t miss!
- Silence the children with a swift strike upon the cheek: As was Puritan custom.
- Have one of the family members wear an authentic buffalo-skin loincloth and give everyone a corn-planting lesson: As long as it’s not Uncle Bob.
- Get the COVID booster to simulate the feeling of influenza: Wow! This is just how William Bradford must have felt!
- Lose a couple of fingers to frostbite: Hey! You have plenty more!
Go here to read the rest.
Funny..but we all know that buffalos and puritans naver saw one another. I like the oil can on the blunderbuss idea though–
My father being from MA wanted nothing green on the Thanksgiving table because that was not in season when his ancestors had the first Feast. Stuffed turkey, potatoes with gravy, boiled small onions in cream sauce (not a winner with we kids), butternut squash, cranberry relish, warm Indian pudding topped with vanilla ice cream for dessert. Of course the relish has a organge in it and Pilgrims did not have ice cream but we never brought that up.
In Japan, I was surprised how good grilled eels are. Eels are, after all, just another kind of fish.
Eels are slimy, smelly, snot-covered bottom dwellers with eyelids! I caught one once While I tried to retrieve the hook it wrapped around my shoe and ruined a perfectly good pair of Converse.
… They do taste good, but after seeing one up close and personal, I’m loathe to ever eat one again.
Eels have scales under their skin so they are fish. Smoked, they are excellent. Very greasy though. In the bitter cold, the water waves wash them onto the beach where they can be retrieved in a bucket.
Red Skelton’s wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving are well received. Red Skelton’s recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance will bring tears to our eyes. Red Skelton also said of atheist Madalene Murray O’Hair’s removal of prayer from public school. “She can go her own way (Supreme Court) but she is not taking me with her.”
Truth is the conformity of the mind to what is real. found in my notes.