News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After testing positive for COVID today, President Biden immediately rushed out of the White House to go sniff one last little girl before losing his sense of smell.
“You mean I won’t be able to smell anything?” said a distraught Biden as his doctor broke the news. “I’ve got to go then, there’s no time to lose! Fire up Marine One! Where’s the closest elementary school?”
Biden’s COVID diagnosis comes despite the President being twice-vaccinated and boosted. “The President has taken every precaution possible to ensure that his dearly beloved olfactory nerve remains healthy,” said White House physician Dr. Elliot Reed. “Smelling little girls’ hair and eating ice cream are his two great pleasures, and he guards those fiercely. He actually tried to combine them by making the National Science Foundation create an ice cream that smelled like hair, but aides shot that down.”
Desperate for one last sniff before COVID took hold, Biden directed Marine One to land at nearby Maury Elementary School. “Hey, kids! President Biden is back once again for a surprise visit!” announced Principal Donna Cleary as she watched the helicopter land in the parking lot. “He sure does come to visit a lot. Such a great supporter of education!”
Go here to read the rest.
50-50 probability that Creepy Dementia Joe will sniff the hair of some foreign dignitaries’s young daughter within a year?
(unless the Secret Service acts to protect the presidency by keeping young girls away.)
We have a quondam co-worker, born in 1949, who was in the fall of 2016 incensed about the talk on the Billy Bush tape and averred that he had never been in such a conversation in his life. Neither have I. Of course, I didn’t respond to Mr. Trump’s vulgarities by casting a ballot for a woman who once, in a fit of pique, called her husband’s campaign manager a ‘fu*king Jew bastard’ to his face. I might have asked him how he’d react had I, ca. 1996, pawed his adolescent daughter in this manner. I don’t assume it would have been by giving me his vote had I run for office in the little town in which we were then living. (The daughter is an energetic go-getter very unlike her mother and father; she’d have smacked me).
In Hunter’s defense, if you were raised by a father whose drug of choice was snorting little girl’s hair, you’d be strung out on crack too!
In Hunter’s defense, if you were raised by a father whose drug of choice was snorting little girl’s hair, you’d be strung out on crack too!
Sorting through the pathologies in that family would be quite challenging for the honest biographer. (The latest hypothesis is that ‘Pedo Peter’ is actually one of the granddaughters).