News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
Okay, we admit it. The economy is tanking. Stocks are taking a huge dive and inflation is high. It’s almost like a perfect storm that will lead us into an obvious recession… but Biden says that won’t happen so we’re not worried about it.
Still, it hurts to have your 401K wiped out in one fell swoop. Here are some tips to distract yourself while you wait for it to rebound:
1) See what your Bitcoin is doing: Oh no…
2) Turn on MSNBC so they can reassure you the economy is okay: Trust the experts.
3) Work hard to earn wealth, improve your home, and make friends in Animal Crossing: Do NOT invest in turnips.
4) Remember, 401K investment is the “long game”, so close your eyes and picture yourself retiring in a trailer park at age 97: Those Caribbean beaches are just 59 short years away.
5) Stage a high-stakes heist where you rob three Vegas casinos in one night: It’s so easy even George Clooney can do it!
6) Flip the computer screen upside down and look at it in a mirror. Then it looks like your 401K is doing great!: You’re king of the world! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
7) Watch Time Cop: There’s a great bit in the beginning about a time traveler who exploits the stock market before being sentenced to time death. Also, Van Damme does the splits! Gnarly!
8) Listen to “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Iron Maiden: It will distract you for a full 13 minutes and 28 seconds.
9) Invade Ukraine: Or protect Ukraine. It doesn’t even matter.
10) Get your children medieval swords, set up a tournament, and bet on them: Tales of their heroism will spread to the four corners of the world!
11) Become a Jedi and renounce all material possessions: Don’t you feel better already?
12) Gaze into the faces of your children and remind yourself how rich you actually are: Maybe things aren’t so bad after all.
Go here to read the rest. Stolen elections have consequences.
Funny.
We baby sat yesterday. So, I told three-year old Princess Grace Grandma ‘is losing her lips.’ She was shocked and quickly ran to Grandma and looked and asked about her lips.
From the White House:
Transitory.
Recession is good for Gaia [and our climate $$$ take].
Corporate Greed.
Putin!
It Wasn’t Me!
In reality, they pumped $7 trillion into people’s untutored hands and kept [not] market rates at zero, which hugely inflated both the debt and equity markets. Now, their climate con game is added to it and the economy is tanking. It’s all good they’ll [as usual] blame markets.
Still, to illustrate how ‘out-of-equilibrium’ everything is/was, the Buffett Indicator, though down from 205% in February, is still flashing equities are significantly over- valued at 149% [close yesterday] of US GDP. And, equities are still over-valued relative to gold and oil.
Nobody knows whether to defecate or go blind.
Do NOT invest in turnips.
Invest in turnips, they taste good when roasted or pureed and, as implied, can be eaten. Which is something you may need.