News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move to help alleviate pain at the pump, the Biden Administration has announced a $1 billion initiative to provide grief and trauma counselors to stand by at all gas pumps across the nation.
The plan will fund licensed therapists and psychiatrists to stand at the ready at gas pumps from New York to California to comfort people mourning the loss of hundreds of dollars every time they fill up their tanks.
“There, there. It’s gonna be OK,” said one grief counselor as a woman filled up her VW at a gas pump in California. “Times like these can be difficult to cope with, but we can survive Putin’s Price Hike if we look deep within ourselves for strength and guidance. Now, let’s try some breathing exercises.”
Another woman in Ohio burst into tears after paying over $3 for gas for the first time in her life.
“Shhh, shhh, it’s OK, honey,” said one therapist, stroking her hair. “You’re going through the stages of grief. Soon, you’ll learn to live with $10 gas. You literally won’t even remember when gas was as cheap as it was during the Trump administration.”
“I know, I know,” the woman replied. “It’s just so hard to accept. I miss… I miss Trump.
Go here to read the rest. But no mean tweets.
I hope this just remains satire. The Bee’s satires have a history of turning out to be reality in short order!
I assume the program will be funded with a gas tax and Treasury printing more money.
I hope they allocate some of the billion to go to pet therapy.
My cat, Sarah, is not coping well with this bidenflation. I must get her some couch time and quick. She’s talking about gender transformation possibilites and it’s freaking me out..
Build back….better?
Just shoot me.
Head shot please.
Thats better than living under the dementia in chief.
Sarah?
It’s back to beinga barn cat for you…i mean Sam..