Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 6:51am

PopeWatch: From the Pen of Sister Calamus

Dear Diary,

Things keep getting weirder around here.  After the wild Turkey stampede, (Now who could have done that Diary?  Smile emoji.) the Pope has been sure that Americans are out to get him.  According to Father Supercilium the Pope wants me to write a tweet saying that he is alive and is not planning to die soon.

Now Diary I am just a country Sister from Tennessee with straw in my hair, but even I can see that if you start telling people that you are not going to die they will assume that you are on speed dial with an undertaker.

How can I phrase this?  Maybe go with a classic?

The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain

Something from a film?:

What are you doing here?

Have you no other duties?

Did you think I intended to die?

Vultures! Jackals!

Out of my sight! Out of my sight!

Out! Out!

Out!

Julius II (Rex Harrison) The Agony and the Ecstasy  (1965)

An homage to Saturday Night Live?:

This is day ____ and Pope Francis remains alive.

Childish simplicity?:

Vulture, vulture go away, come again some other day!

Tis a puzzler Diary but I am sure I will come up with something.  Hopefully some wicked Sister person at the Vatican won’t be secretly giving information to media sources again.  (Smiling emoji.)

 

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