New that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The FBI has assured the nation that they will get back to figuring out why that guy shot 411 people in Las Vegas four years ago once they’re finished investigating parent-teacher school board meetings across the country.
“Something more pressing than investigating the worst mass shooting in our nation’s history has come up: parents concerned about what their kids are learning in school,” said FBI agent Lars Conner as he donned a MAGA hat and sunglasses to infiltrate a parent-teacher meeting. “This is our top priority right now. Trying to figure out why a rando totally went rogue and fired thousands of rounds out a hotel window on concertgoers back in 2017 has to go on the backburner, for now.”
“What do you want us to do, just let parents have opinions unchecked? Not on my watch. We’ve gotta take these terrorists down.”
Indeed, sources within the FBI have confirmed that the FBI’s most-wanted list is entirely parents at this point, from Cindy in Ohio to Amy in Wisconsin.
Go here to read the rest. I don’t know FBI, on the few occasions when I went with my Bride to pick up our kids from school in yester-years, I always asked her to drive as I found the way the way the other moms drove to be aggressive in the extreme and hazardous to life and limb. (True!) Take care out there.
Also, I do empathize and realize that you are used to “solving” terrorist plots where you designed the plot and had a lot of undercovers and informants working on the plot. Much tougher trying to bring charges against outraged parents concerned about what is being taught their kids. However, I am sure you will phony up an incident involving a handful of parents and your usual gang of informants and undercovers, the media will then trumpet it to the skies, and anyone asking inconvenient questions will be denounced as a terrorist enabler, so it is all good.
Parents need to seek out charter schools. Smaller is better when it comes to education. My wife and I, with 3 other families, started one in SW Michigan about 20 yrs ago. The locals hated it but we have survived and teach the Classical means of education with Latin a part of the curriculum. We are not known for our sports teams but we do graduate about a dozen kids a year who know where they came from. And the direction they should go. As a Board member for several years, we shot down several calls for “new” fads so we would be just like every other school around us.