The Babylon Bee answers your questions:
When you’re out and about at your usual Trump rally, it can be hard to tell the feds apart from the regular, down-to-earth QAnon people.
Here are seven easy ways to spot a fed:
1. Look for the telltale military cuts, FBI badges, and stains of blood from their secret Satanic child sacrifice ring: All clear signs this person may not be who they claim.
2. Says “Greetings fellow Trump supporters, would you like to insurrect something on this fine morning?”: Something feels off here.
3. Keeps calling you “Mr. Anderson” for some reason: And they keep calling you the chosen one and trying to kill you. Weird!
4. Their MAGA hat is clearly just an FBI hat with duct tape over it: FBI agents are not known for their creative disguises.
5. Look for their forked lizard tongue and reptilian eyes: They will usually flick their tongues and hiss if you show them a LEGO set.
6. Screeches in terror at the name of Donald Trump: Plus, touching the Art of the Deal will burn their hands.
7. Their Apple AirPods have a curly wire hanging down and look suspiciously like an FBI earpiece – They may claim they’re just jamming along to Carly Rae Jepsen, but they’re really waiting for the go-ahead to take you down.
Go here to read the rest. A few more:
- If they keep telling you to speak louder because they are slightly deaf.
- Their black oxfords clash with their shorts.
- The I heart Biden on their vehicle.
- Their hands look like the last manual labor they did was in the last century.
- They stand when the FBI theme is played.
- They know the names of every pet dog the Trumps have ever owned.
- They refuse to drink Mountain Dew.
- They are letter perfect in reciting the Preamble to the Constitution.
- Their eyes brighten if the word entrapment is uttered.
- If they keep saying that Quantico was tougher.
Stazi / FBI, difference is??
There’s a difference, but they’ve gone a long way to persuading people they’re generators of crime more than they fight it. Sundance at The Last Refuge susses out what is meant by ‘domestic violent extremists’ in the FBI lexicon. The pretense Christopher Wray maintains that Antifa is not an organization and the refusal of the FBI to do anything about it is an indication of what their institutional mission actually is. (Recall that Christopher Wray was the recommended choice of one Rod Rosenstein, Justice Department lifer; Mr. Wray’s previous experience of police work was nil). Getting into gun battles with biker clubs is an indication of what their mission actually is. Ginning up a nonsense plot to kidnap the Governor of Michigan and recruiting some patsies to participate is an indication of what their mission is. (Sending a double-digit corps of agents to examine Bubba Wallace garage-door pull is an indication of gross overstaffing or inefficiency). Their refusal to record interviews with their targets and their refusal to punish people who falsify written reports is an indication of just how far they can be trusted. You cannot repair this agency.
https://www.westernjournal.com/trumps-surgeon-general-says-tried-refinance-mortgage-biden-admin-pulled-dirty-move-stop-happening/
I’m betting its functionaries at the bank and HHS with low levels of conscientiousness and problem-solving ability, but who knows nowadays?