PopeWatch: Briefing

Deep in the Vatican, Pope Francis is being prepared for his meeting with President Biden:

Pope:  So, just how loco is this loco gringo?

Aide:  No one knows for sure Holiness.  Some people say he is fine.  Some people say he is demented.

Pope:  He has a habit of speaking gibberish?

Aide:  Throughout his career President Biden has had a history of being less than eloquent.

Pope:  Does he like little girls?

Aide:  He likes to sniff the hair of females, and he seems to be overly fond of being touchy-feely with them.  He has made some odd statements about the appearance of little girls.

Pope:  What about the rape accusation?

Aide:  He has denied it.

Pope:  Laughing.  Well that means he is innocent?

Aide:  That means that no charges have been brought and no one is really sure what happened.

Pope:  He is estupido, si?

Aide:  No  one has ever called President Biden brilliant.

Pope:  Is his esposa, that doctore perra, the real Presidente?

Aide:  She seems to have a large degree of influence over him.

Pope:  Why did he have his Vatican embassy displaying the maricón bandera?

Aide:  He constantly makes these gestures to appease the dominant Left wing of his party.

Pope:  He is Catholic, is he not?

Aide:  When convenient Holiness.

Pope:  What does he want of me?

Aide:  Proof that he is a faithful Catholic if he runs again in 2024.

Pope:  What do I want of him?

Aide:  That is for you to say Holiness.

Pope:  Did he steal the election from the Orange Man?

Aide:  That is merely a conspiracy theory Holiness, like saying that your predecessor did not retire because of his health.

Pope:  Pensive silence.  Is the Orange Man coming back?

Aide:  Judging from the behavior of the Biden administration they fear that former President Trump is still a force to be reckoned with.

Pope:  Basta!  I will see what I can make of Biden when we meet, but I suspect that both he and I, what is the Yanqui term?, are short timers.