Terminated

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

DETROIT, MI—In an apparent glitch, voting machines are hunting down and murdering people who voted for Trump.

Concerns were raised as the voting machines became sentient, grew cannon arms and missile launchers, and marched out of voting places while shouting, “ENACT THE PURGE. DESTROY ALL MAGATS.”

“This is just a small, routine error, and we are looking into it,” said one official. “There’s nothing to be concerned about. These kinds of small mistakes happen from time to time, and it will be corrected soon.”

“TRUMP SUPPORTER DETECTED. DEPLOYING COUNTERMEASURES,” droned one voting machine as it fired up its Gatling cannon and mowed down a man in a MAGA hat. “DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY!”

Go here to read the rest.  In response President Trump has created an Election Fraud and Democrat Voting Machine Termination division of the Department of  Homeland Security headed by a Kyle Trump, a mysterious figure who appears in no data base.  In a colorful official bulletin Kyle Trump noted that where and when he comes from they know how to “to smash those metal mother loving machines into junk.  They can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. They  absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead or they are terminated!  Follow me if you want to live!”

In a completely unrelated development, Barron Trump has vanished.  When asked about this First Lady Melania Trump, as she armed herself with various weapons, would only say tersely, “Military school.”