Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 8:33pm

I’m OK and You’re Not

In our current political climate, and especially during a presidential election year, and even more especially in the new age of Social Media, many of us seem to be fairly comfortable with an “I’m OK and you’re not” mentality.

The following relates to this kind of mindset. It’s based off something we were shown where I work during the time of a merger many years ago. At that time, various departments were blaming most other departments for just about everything. Upper management broke-down this kind of thinking into four quadrants of “OK” and “Not OK”. As you might imagine, we were all challenged to examine ourselves to see how we can improve and to consider the possibility that our reality was represented somewhere near the center of the four quadrant space shown below.

As is often the case, I happened to see a spiritual connection within this secular presentation…

Quadrant I: I’m OK, you’re OK

All is well with all of us! This relates to the sin of presumption. God loves us just the way we are, therefore our salvation is assured, regardless of any sins or non-sins. Just do whatever you feel is right.

Quadrant II: I’m not OK, you’re OK

This relates to false humility. True humility is submitting to the Truth. False humility involves putting oneself down. Thinking yourself stupid, worthless or beyond hope is not proper for a child of God and it offends Him.

Quadrant III: I’m OK, you’re not OK

Very common in life from work to religion to politics, and seems to be growing exponentially with social media, which reinforces our own views constantly, creating a kind of tribalism. Everyone is stupid, but us! You’re the ones with the problem. This is pride mixed in with presumption; a self-defeating attitude.

Quadrant IV: I’m not OK, you’re not OK

When we compare ourselves directly to the holiness of God, quadrant IV is where we encounter reality. We are all sinners, however, the Theological Virtue of Hope helps us to act as God’s children and brings us to eternal life.

Although we know we are not perfect, we may hear from time to time about how “good” we are. Most of us tend to follow the ten commandants, more or less, and we throw in The Golden Rule, now and then. We try to make the world a better place when it’s convenient. We volunteer, we donate to charities, we’re kind to animals, we recycle and we even practice safe-sex! If you think “we’re OK”, we only need to ponder what comes after The Sermon on the Mount in Mathew 5 to begin a terrifying examination of conscience.

  • If you are angry with someone, you are liable to the fires of Hell (Mat 5:22).
  • If you look at a woman lustfully, you have committed adultery (Mat 5:28).
  • Be perfect as God is perfect (Mat 5:37).

This last verse reads more as a command than a suggestion.

Do you still think you’re in pretty good shape? I once ran across a reflection that practically sent me running off to the confessional. See how well the following might apply to the cultural climate of 2020.

With the sin of pride we scheme to push ourselves forward with white lies, showiness, sarcasm, passive aggressiveness and exaggerations intended to show that we know more than we really do, to make us look good and others look bad. We refuse to admit our own faults; we’re stubborn and impatient with harshness of words and judgment. We have no use for human creatures that won’t or can’t see things the way we do.

The sin of sloth relates to our negligence, gluttony, weakness of will, jealousy, discouragement, resistance to grace, omission of the good we should be doing, and an undisciplined imagination that daydreams, allowing for voluntary anxiety. We allow our imaginations to “stew”. We review again and again all that arouses our anger, sadness and melancholy. We exaggerate things in our mind in order to make our own fantasy world of misery. We make tragedy where there is none, allowing our emotions to be extreme and uncontrolled. To sum it up, we act like the spoiled children of God.

God’s light shows us the many blemishes of our conduct and we get the ominous feeling that there are many more yet to be discovered. Once we see this, we no longer seek to depend upon ourselves; we seek dependence on God, but the journey is not easy.

Jesus’ response to the question of salvation in Luke 13:23-24 is also sobering. “Strive to enter through the narrow gate…” He describes the gate into heaven as narrow. This means it is not easy. In order to get through a narrow gate one must be deliberate in purpose and focused. It would seem NOT to happen just by accident. He also says “…many…will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough.” What does He mean by “strong enough”? I need to worry about strength? I’d rather hear the stuff about the burden being easy and the yoke being light.

All this sounds pretty discouraging; we cannot be perfect; we are not God. How can we be “strong enough”? The answer is God’s grace, and here is a plug for more frequent confession that I should listen to as much as anyone else.

The sacrament of reconciliation is a channel of God’s grace in the world. Sin blocks God’s grace; even “small” sins begin to block the pipes through which grace flows. All the little sins accumulate and the clog gets worse and worse and soon you’re dried up. Confession clears the pipes and the precept of going once per year is not enough for a smooth, continuous flow. You will receive more grace at your next communion after confession, which will in turn allow you to make a better confession next time, which makes a better communion, which makes a better confession, and on and on. It’s an upward spiral to holiness!

This is how we can be “strong enough”. Grace can be the grease that will help get us through the narrow gate. It gives us the strength so the burden seems easy, the yoke seems light. With grace we can begin to obey the command of Jesus to be more than just OK, we can “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect”.

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Michael Dowd
Michael Dowd
Tuesday, October 20, AD 2020 7:47am

I’m OK, You’re OK is pure Vatican II and Pope Francis.
Result: For most Catholics the condition being OK, i.e., saved, means no need for confession.

Ernst Schreiber
Ernst Schreiber
Tuesday, October 20, AD 2020 7:50am

Good post. Thank you.

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