Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 9:16pm

PopeWatch: Miracle?

 

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Oh no! The president visited San Francisco to offer aid and maybe make fun of the Democrat politicians running the state a little bit. But as soon as he stepped off Air Force One, Secret Service lost their visual on him, his soft, persimmon-hued skin blending in perfectly with the fiery hellscape around him.

“Anyone got eyes on POTUS?” a frantic Secret Service agent shouted into his radio. “We’ve lost him! Repeat, we’ve lost him!”

President Trump was completely invisible from the moment he arrived. He apparently got up to some wacky hijinks using his perfect camouflage, as a sack full of Ghiradelli chocolate bars was seen floating down Beach Street, and several taco trucks reported their tacos disappearing. 

One woman claimed her baby was punched by someone she couldn’t quite make out through the smoky haze, though she admitted that might just have been Hank the Hobo.

Finally, Nancy Pelosi was aghast to see several pints of her favorite brand of ice cream floating away from her freezer.

Go here to read the rest.  PopeWatch was curious about what the Vatican thought about this and contacted one of his moles, “Sister Deep Rosary”:

The top guys are obsessed about Trump.  They have a nun who does nothing but maintain a file on him.  I was chatting with her and asked her about this.  She said that one of the cardinals she spoke to said that the Pope was concerned this might be a miracle.  She thought he was joking, but the next day the page on which she had written down a description of this was missing from the file.  If Trump is re-elected the big boys will really start going bonkers around here.  Expect an encyclical entitled On the Orange Headed Anti-Christ or something.  Gotta run, Cardinal Marx is drunk again and shouting out that he is the reincarnation of Karl Marx.  Never a dull moment.

 

Discover more from The American Catholic

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Scroll to Top