This week Pope Francis cut the power to Saint Peter’s in an effort to drive the traditional Catholic occupiers out due to the torpid Roman heat. The occupiers responded by hot wiring the power back on, cranking up the air conditioning to maximum and holding a penance and penguins ceremony while wearing parkas.
Antifa tried to attack the occupiers but were swiftly driven off by the Blue Haired Ladies Brigade of Perpetual Devotion to Mary, one of several elite units emerging among the occupiers.
A mole in the Sacred College has leaked the following: The Pope alternates between rages and weeping. He keeps muttering to himself: “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”.
Hashtag Occupy Saint Peter’s has broken all records of trending on Twitter.
Peter Jackson is seeking to buy the film rights for a trilogy on the occupation.
Mark Shea, recovering from his one day hunger strike, has called for a tactical nuke to be used against the White, Christianist, Racist, Maga Goon, Demonic Cult, and then his meds were increased.
US military “sightseers” have been maintaining surveillance drone flights over Saint Peter’s.
President Trump has offered to mediate between the occupiers and the Pope.
The Pope has offered to mediate between the President and Speaker Pelosi.
The nightly program on EWTN on the occupation has spawned a spinoff series: Endtime Occupiers. The Pope is portrayed by Robert De Niro, with appropriate bleeping.
Jimmy Akin has published an e-book on the Occupation: Ten Things to Forget and Keep to Yourself About the Occupation.
A prophecy regarding Pope Francis has been making the rounds:
Peter the Roman will be locked out of his house, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be convulsed with laughter, and the dreadful judge of social media will be rofl. The ever living End.
Always entertaining. Except for the truth part.