News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
U.S.—With many Americans eager to get back to work, state governors across the country are responding with their plans for giving everyone permission to be normal human beings again. One state governor is enjoying universal acclaim after unveiling his own innovative plan for getting his state reopened.
The new plan is called ‘Our Vision for Health, Safety, Virtue, and Eternal Peace’ and is a 37-step, 10-year plan for slowly opening up sections of the state economy. It reads as follows:
- Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things
- Set date to hear recommendations from the exploratory committee
- Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee
- Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment
- Discuss feedback from health experts over catered seafood lunch
- Wait 4 weeks to see if catered seafood lunch led to any additional COVID infections
- Hire commission to gauge the effectiveness of collaboration over catered seafood lunches
- Take away all the guns
- Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists
- Begin Phase 1
- Form a new committee to review the effectiveness of Phase 1 before moving on to Phase 2
- Order more drones from China and post them in front of every hair salon
- Draft new legislation to allow voting by show of hands over Facebook live
- Announce reopening of all golf courses in close proximity to the statehouse
- Hold public hearings on the effectiveness of the implementation of Phase 1
- Repeat parts 1-15 until all 12 phases are completed
- Form an exploratory committee to research alternate food sources now that catered seafood no longer available
- Draft legislation allowing people to eat squirrels and possums
- Overturn squirrels and possums legislation after animal rights groups protest
- Hire animal rights groups to enforce the overturning of the legislation in order to protect squirrels and possums
- Introduce tax bill to fund arming all police officers with harpoon guns and spears
- Strengthen the security of governors mansion with sniper towers and tiger pits
- …Maybe also a moat around the governor’s mansion
- More drones from China, maybe bigger ones
- Pass new legislation to fund hiring more enforcers to enforce things
- Build checkpoints across the state to distribute milk and guzzoline
- Create jobs by hiring welders to install armor plating on police cars
- (redacted)
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- (redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)
- (Super-secret surprise to be determined later)
- Open the rest of the economy
- Gladiator games anyone?
Go here to read the rest. I am sure many governors now ruling like dictators have a specific date when liberties will be fully restored in their states: the seventh of Never.
The few can control the many only with their cooperation, which requires either fear of consequences or recognition of interests on a large scale to hold for long. Each must be maintained, and neither can last when the hearts of the many begin to turn. Although the Nazis were as brutal in Holland as elsewhere, after June 1944 their hold over the Dutch began to slip, as Anne Frank records in the last months of her diary. The American people have (with less violence) changed laws in this country by their refusal to cooperate on Prohibition, the draft, and in many places now (although I think less wisely) on marijuana. Whatever rants may come from the media, some politicians and “experts”, the people will end this, although for the sake of peace and face-saving the idea that it came from “leadership” will be allowed to pass.
I sure hope you’re right, Tom, and that it happens soon. Food supply chains are in deep trouble right now and we haven’t yet begun to see the ultimate results. Tremendous waste is already occurring because farmers and ranchers have nowhere to sell their crops, livestock and dairy products. Sooner or later food will start disappearing from the grocery stores. Being short of toilet paper may look like heaven by comparison to that.
I know a hog farmer who was lucky enough to sell most of his hogs before meat packing plants closed or slowed production. But many of his fellow farmers weren’t so lucky and are stuck with a huge number of hogs that they can’t sell anywhere. Some of them are desperately calling hunters and the like that they know just to get rid of a few hogs here or there through individual sales (the local butchers are either closed or have plenty of meat because everyone with a surplus already sold to them). But it’s hard to see how the majority of these hogs aren’t simply going to be euthanized and their meat thrown away.
I wonder if you can buy salt by the barrel. And keep the barrel.
Because you sure can’t find a freezer for sale.