The Vatican announced today that the Chinese government has purchased the Vatican City State. Under the agreement the Pope will stay in control, subject to recommendations of his Chinese Advisors. Saint Peters will be renamed Xi Jinping House of Worship. As part of the agreement, the Pope has agreed that the government of China will appoint all bishops of China and will have a veto power over the appointment of bishops elsewhere. Cantonese will replace Latin as the official language of the Church. The Pope will appoint 200 new Chinese Cardinals. Cardinal Zen will be burned alive in an auto de fe in Vatican Square. Archbishop Sorondo will be promoted Cardinal and will be in charge of promulgating a new code of Catholic Social Teaching in line with the current policies of the Chinese government.
PopeWatch woke up and was relieved that the above was a dream brought on by some bad General Tso Chicken. Why in the dream PopeWatch even thought that the Pope had betrayed the Church in China! Oh, wait…
