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PopeWatch: Drawing the Line

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–Pope Francis said in his morning Mass on Monday that if Martians came to him asking to be baptized he wouldn’t turn them away, but that when it came to krakens, unicorns, minotaurs, and British elves, he would have to say “absolutely not,” Vatican radio reports.

“If, for example, tomorrow an expedition of Martians came, and some of them came to us, here… Martians, right? Green, with that long nose and big ears, just like children paint them…and one says, ‘But I want to be baptized!’ What would happen?”

Pope Francis would not be one to turn away someone seeking baptism, even if they were an alien. He urged clergy to foster an open door policy for all to receive church teachings including Martians, but also urged them to not get carried away, and to immediately deny any golems, Chineese dragons, and even the Loch Ness Monstor.

Although the pope’s message was one of inclusion, saying “the Holy Spirit is not always predictable,” he justified his exclusion of other never seen creatures such as sirens and chupacabras by saying that he had to “draw the line somewhere.”

Pope Francis is not the first one to hint at alien baptism. Vatican scientist Guy Consolmagno suggested in 2010 that aliens might have souls and could be baptized if they asked for it.

“Any entity, no matter how many tentacles it has, has a soul,” Consolmagno said in a talk preceding the British Science Festival in Birmingham. “But when it comes to creatures like Bigfoot, cyclopes, and hydras, His Holiness is absolutely correct.”

 

In response to a PopeWatch inquiry about Elvis Impersonators, the Vatican said that the Pope would reluctantly baptize them, but he absolutely refuses to do so for mimes.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

7 Comments

  1. “Any entity, no matter how many tentacles it has, has a soul.”

    And all along I thought Hillary C. was without a soul. Thanks EOTT for clearing this up.

  2. Excellent insight, Philip. Someone, like you, Philip, ought to remind Hillary C. that she has an immortal soul, in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.
    .
    EOTT surely has the best list of mythological and physical creatures and things, just in time for Halloween.
    .
    I remember reading somewhere that one of our popes baptized that infamous Arabica drink, coffee. I am sure he, the pope, meant only to bless that drink, since the essence of coffee is that blessing.
    .
    Now, I am going to have some breakfast coffee. I may even share my morning coffee with any aliens, attending monsters, fairies, holy spirits, bloggers and evil doers. Blessed coffee is like holy water on the devil.
    .
    But, as for Kraken, I have always enjoyed calamari, enough to feed California.

  3. Mary De Voe.

    Reminding Hillary R. Clinton that she indeed has an immortal soul would invoke a smirky grin accompanied by the eye roll, for the concept of immortality is equal to the existence of Godzilla I would assume based on her bloodied past.

    BTW. Godzilla makes a great scone. It might go well with your AM coffee.

  4. Mary DeVoe.

    I wonder how disturbing it would be for Hillary if a law existed that would of taken the life away from her new grandchild? I wonder if she would feel remorse if she had written that law?

    Regardless…I will pray for her Mary.
    I will make offering for her soul. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

  5. Mary De Voe.

    Conversion offerings made for Hillary.
    All things are possible with God.
    ( unicorns & Godzilla????)

  6. Please forgive me for injecting some seriousness to this post.
    .
    The late Mario Palmaro – may he rest in peace and may God bless his family – from early on figured the methodology of Pope Francis; that of asking hanging questions. Since when have Popes and the Church been concerned about baptizing Martians? We know the mission of Christ himself – for us men and for our salvation – and he in turn sends his Apostles to the nations to baptize people (recall fishers of men). If the criterion was solely the possession of a soul, then vegetable life, animal life … hopefully point made. If there arose a heated debate among prelates on what they should do, we have a template as regards the resolution in the First Council of Jerusalem.
    .
    So why would the Pope propose the scenario, which tugs at people hearts? ‘Of course who would want to deny anyone salvation? Those poor Martians.’ For that, go to Instrumentum Laboris 2014, 120, therein are the Pope’s Martians: The Transmission of the Faith to Children in Same Sex Unions.
    .
    Please see also:
    Baptize but Be Discreet: On the Catholic Baptism of children presented by homosexual and other irregular parents | Msgr. Charles Pope.
    Does the Pope have the authority to baptize aliens (martians)?.

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