5

Brrr!

Cold!

Well here in Central Illinois today it is -12.6 F with the high set to rocket up to -9 F.  Lots of blowing and drifting snow.  The courthouses and sheriffs’ offices are closed.  Go here to read the current weather conditions in my little town.  I will be using today to catch up on work at my office.  Normally I enjoy cold weather, no doubt attributable to my half Newfie blood, although I see they are up to a balmy 16 F today, so when I feel that it is too cold, as I do today, you know that it is too cold indeed!

Back in the late seventies at the U of I I had a professor from Africa.  We had some memorable winters back then, even by Midwestern standards, and I recall him coming in one very wintry day, take off his huge parka, and remark that he had never lived in a place before where the weather could kill you as easily as it could in Central Illinois in the winter!

Some places in this world have much more congenial temperatures, I am looking at you Don the Kiwi!, but there is something to say about living in a place that routinely has 120 degree F swings in temperature during the year.  We get to see most types of weather here in Central Illinois during a year, and we get to gripe about all of them!

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

5 Comments

  1. found on the net:
    Yes it is time for the IT’S SO COLD Jokes!!!!!!!

    #10
    IT’S SO COLD….
    We had to chisel the dog off a fire hydrant.

    #9
    IT’S SO COLD….
    You have to open the fridge to heat the house.

    #8
    IT’S SO COLD….
    The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.

    #7
    IT’S SO COLD….
    We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!

    #6
    IT’S SO COLD….
    hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!

    #5
    IT’S SO COLD….
    roosters are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

    #4
    IT’S SO COLD….
    when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring.

    #3
    IT’S SO COLD….
    I chipped a tooth on my soup!

    #2
    IT’S SO COLD….
    we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

    #2
    IT’S SO COLD….
    when I needed local anesthesia – the dentist told me to stick my head outside!

    #2
    IT’S SO COLD…
    The government has its hands in its own pockets.

    #2
    IT’S SO COLD…
    I lost count!

    #2
    IT’S SO COLD….
    we had to kick a hole in the air just to get outside!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    the mailmen had to change their motto – they decided that there ARE some things that can keep them from their appointed rounds!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    a seal was sunning itself on the ice floes in our hot tub!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    we learned the correct way to spell ice floe.

    IT’S SO COLD….
    we walked to school with the toaster in our pants! And for the really old people, UP HILL both ways!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    we are afraid that Hell WAS actually freezing over!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    a new excuse for drinking vodka. “it’s the only thing that’s still liquid!” That explains a lot in Russia:-0

    IT’S SO COLD….
    eating ice cream was knocked down to number 8 on the list of the top 10 ways to get a brain-freeze! But there was still a line at Mr. Freeze, What!!!!!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    I thought I had astigmatism, but it was just a film of ice over my eyes.

    And the #1 IT’S SO COLD JOKE….
    IT’S SO COLD….
    The Mayan forecast is looking pretty good right now!!!!!!!

    IT’S SO COLD….
    THAT’S FUNNY:-0!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Mary De Voe.
    Funny stuff. Thanks. I enjoyed it.
    If this Global Warming keeps up I’m thinking of moving to Central America and sell some snowmobiles.
    🙂

  3. Mary De Voe.

    That’s a very COOL list 😉

    I am looking at you Don the Kiwi!, but there is something to say about living in a place that routinely has 120 degree F swings in temperature during the year.

    Don’t sweat it Don 🙂
    Just had dinner, but not before sitting on my deck at a balmy 22 deg.C (72 F) and appreciating some nice chilled Beck’s German beer. Actually, the weather here is a bit changeable as it usually is around Christmas – radical swings from – oh, I duuno, 12.C overnight up to 26 – 28.C during the day: rain or showers overnight and sometimes during the day. Our settled weather comes usually in February – April.
    And – shock , hoor – we actually have frosts about 10 – 20 times during the winter – getting down to an intollerable -5.C. Much more handle-able than your 48.C. swings, Don.

    I’d love to visit your neck of the woods, but it’d have to be in autumn – after your praire heat has gone and before your Arctic chills hit. I used to try to demonstrate that I was a tough guy – rugged outdoors Kiwi type; but like most of us, I’m really just a big wuss. 🙂

    But I still love, at this time of the year, sitting on my deck and looking to the North, sipping a quality ale, and thinking to myself – “about 10,000 miles up there where I’m looking, those poor buggers are freezing – I’ll say a prayer for them.” 🙂

  4. Mary De Voe again: Its so cold jokes were written by Joe Klein, Cara Lot Knott, and I. Pothermy. The last name is really hypothermy and care a lot. Not, and Joke line. It comes from playing Scrabble. Call my son to unsubscribe. However, My dad was raised in Poland where the temperature fell to -40, below zero. My dad told me that if one spit, it would freeze before it hit the ground and bounce. The apple trees would split and be lost and some people would go to the barn and curl up to the cows’ belly where it was warm and the cows would keep them warm and care for them. Reminds me of the Nativity scene. Thanks for reading.

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