Fictional Hates





Ah, the world of fiction.  It entertains us and helps lend spice to the mundane world.  However, some of the characters who inhabit it simply put our teeth on edge.  Here are the three top annoying characters on my list.

Dobby the House Elf-From the time I first saw Dobby in the Harry Potter films, I found him intensely grating.  His voice, his mannerisms, his obsequiousness to Harry Potter, all make me choose Dobby as the fictional character I would most like to ask to attempt to unjam a  woodchipper by sticking his arm into it.  I did restrain myself from giving a cheer when he shuffled off his fictional vale of tears in the penultimate Harry Potter film.

Jar Jar Binks-This character immediate signaled to me that something was going badly awry in the second Star Wars trilogy.  A bizarre unackowledged homage to Stepin Fetchit, George Lucas, if he were not a completely conventional Hollywood liberal, would have become the poster boy for entertainment racism by the NAACP.

Barney the Dinosaur-Only a parent who had small kids in the nineties can really hate this piece of Dino filth as much as he deserves.  Played endlessly, and I do mean endlessly, Barney during his heyday was ubiquitous and endlessly tedious to anyone who had graduated from kindergarten.  Sometimes even the very young recognized him for the foul menace he truly was.  One of my sons howled endlessly in terror when a much chagrined photographer attempted to use a Barney handpuppet to elicit a smile from him during family portraits when he was 3.  I knew precisely how my son felt.

Well, those are my choices for fictional characters I would like to see on the receiving end of fictional, agonizing demises.  Please tell me your candidates and why they are on your fictional hate list!