News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
U.S.—Joe Biden’s campaign is struggling to motivate younger voters, but he has a plan: offering free AOL trials to anyone who shows up to his rallies.
“Come on by, say hi to uncle Joe, and grab one of our free AOL CDs,” Biden says in an ad for his campaign tour. “You know, the great thing about AOL is that you get so many hours of internets. Only squares use Compuserve, Prodigy, or MSN. We’re keen on America Online!”
The campaign has warned that it’s first come, first served, so you’d better hurry if you want to experience the lightning-fast speeds of AOL’s 56K dial-up service.
“I love America Online,” Biden continued as he booted up his Windows 98 PC. “Every time I hear that grinding, beeping sound while trying to get on the internet, I just know that I’m about to experience the world wide web at a rate of one web page per hour.”
His wife then screamed at him to get off the computer as she was expecting a call. “Well, I’d better go,” Biden said, chuckling. “But remember, for the fastest interwebs in town, come see Uncle Joe. You won’t regret it — probably.”
Go here to read the rest. Ah, the Biden campaign. All the pathos of viewing an elderly dog being euthanized.
I hear Biden’s campaign will be spending a big part of the budget on putting campaign ads on MySpace. Edgy! I bet the other candidates will be wishing they’d thought of that first….