“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. His parents called him Eustace Clarence and masters called him Scrubb. I can’t tell you how his friends spoke to him, for he had none.”
CS Lewis, Dawn Treader
News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
OXFORD — Setting an inspiring example for all people saddled by their parents with unwieldy names, a British gentleman born in 1898 seems to have managed to become a popular, successful writer despite having been named “Clive Staples” by his parents.
Literary critics throughout the Anglophone world who have come forward to laud Mr. Clive Staples’ literary achievements say that they are completely shocked to see how much the author had to overcome.
“Wow! It’s downright incredible how much this man had to endure to achieve what he did,” said Brayden Amadeus, a fan of Clive Staples’ writings. “He always made even highly complicated matters so clear to all of his readers and wrote such thought-provoking, classic works … and all that while being named ‘Clive Staples?’ You’ve got to be kidding me! I mean, if he could be such a successful writer with such an utterly uninspired, downright dorky pair of names, maybe even I could follow in his footsteps. Clive Staples — what a struggle that must have been!”
Readers who have been affected by Clive Staples’ work say that his story is “one of the most inspiring examples of the last century” and that “this finally shows, once and for all, that a great author can come from anywhere.”
Go here to read the rest. There is a reason he was universally known to friends as “Jack”.
When I had (doomed) aspirations of being an author, I was planning on using my initials as well, because it sounded cool, although everyone in my life has called me by my given name or its shortened form.
Them’s fighting words! I recall someone coming into my office that had the last name “Head.” I’ll let you guess what first name his parents gave him. My thought was if I was this guy, as soon as I got to be old enough, I’d want to punch my father in the face. Of course this was younger when I was less forgiving.
I once knew a fellow ROTC cadet whose last name was Buttes (or was it Butte?). I don’t recall anyone giving him a hard time about it, not exactly, yet it did typically make you look twice. He changed it to Butler before he graduated.
Successful writer yes, good… I strongly disagree with that 😉
JRR is also a much better initial set to boot…
Clive isn’t a bad first name. I’d rather that than be named Gilbert Keith Chesterton.