Exciting New Job Opportunities!

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

TEHRAN — Any qualified individuals or eager recent college graduates looking for work in the field of nuclear engineering will be happy to know that there are exciting opportunities that have just recently opened up in Iran.

Suddenly and without warning, multiple exciting positions in the field of nuclear energy research became available, creating opportunities for experienced engineers to step in and start working immediately.

“These vacancies just exploded onto the scene,” said one job listing. “All experienced nuclear engineers are encouraged to apply.”

Some of the job openings posted in the last 48 hours included:

• Enriched Uranium Inspector: A fun, hands-on occupation with room for growth, 30,000,000 IRR monthly (to be paid from pallets of U.S. currency). Knowledge of goat-herding required.
• Mostly Peaceful Nuclear Applications Project Lead: A versatile position that offers opportunities in both civilian and military uses — create and destroy! Retail management experience is a plus.
• Project Disinformation Coordinator: A creative job that will allow individuals to conceal, deceive, deny, and develop cover stories to keep all project information secret. Minimum five years of experience at a mainstream American media outlet preferred.

Depending on outside circumstances, these positions — and the entire department — may not last long, so interested applicants are encouraged to get in touch as soon as possible.

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