Blame the Joos!

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

If you listen to some people, the Jews are behind everything that goes on in the world. But does that theory hold up under scrutiny? You’d be surprised.

The Babylon Bee conducted an investigation into the matter and put together the following list of bad things that happen in your everyday life that can most likely be blamed on the Jews:

  1. You hit three red lights in a row: “They” did it again.
  2. You ran out of free Google storage yesterday: Interesting that this hasn’t happened to your Jewish friend Moshe.
  3. The bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher didn’t get clean again: Things like this don’t just “happen.”
  4. Your sandcastle got washed away overnight: You know they control the ocean tides too, right? It’s a known fact.
  5. Male-pattern baldness: It may seem unrelated, but that’s just what certain people want you to think.
  6. Your avocado is not quite ripe: Take a guess who probably owns the farm where that avocado was grown.
  7. The check engine light in your ’97 Ford Taurus won’t shut off: There can be only one explanation.
  8. McDonald’s put onions on your Quarter Pounder with cheese when you clearly and specifically said “no onions”: Mossad agents are everywhere.
  9. Your pager exploded the other day: Okay, this one probably isn’t much of a conspiracy theory.

 

Go here to read the rest.  I recall one of the earliest Jesuits one time said to Saint Ignatius Loyola that one of his Jesuits was suspected of having Jewish blood.  The Saint responded that it would be wonderful to be related to Our Lord and His mother.

 

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Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 4:01am

I have never understood the cognitive dissonance of Christians (especially some ultra-traditionalist Catholics) who say they worship a Jewish Messiah, and simultaneously express such hatred and disdain for Jewish people and the State of Israel. Yes, we hope as St. Paul wrote that all Israel will be saved. Yes, modern day Israel has made mistakes. Yes, there are some bad Jews. But the Son of God is Jewish! His Mother Mary is Jewish! The 12 Disciples were Jewish! Three of the four Gospel writers were Jewish (I am assuming Luke wasn’t)! The overwhelming majority of the Bible was written by Jews! You can’t be Christian and hate either the Jews or the State of Israel.

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 4:11am

#9. That was an attention grabber if ever there was one. I doubt Hamas knew about “that” feature when they signed up for the family and friends package to save a few bucks. 🫣

Ezabelle
Ezabelle
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 3:16pm

No word of a lie for number #6. Israel is the top 9th Avocado producing country in the world. I feel for the college snowflakes who are dying to eat some good guacamole, but can’t because you know “free Palestine” and all…

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 7:09pm

Ezabelle.

Avocado on toast, sun dried tomato ( Croatian heart variety, ) drizzle of fine olive oil and feta cheese slightly melted. Yes, you can substitute the feta with fresh mozzarella, but use it sparingly.

That’s my idea of a good start on a Saturday morning, post Mass ofcourse. No cheese during lent. 🥸

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 7:10pm

btw…your point is well made.

Ezabelle
Ezabelle
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 9:53pm

Philip – yum. Sounds delicious. 😋

CAM
CAM
Saturday, October 19, AD 2024 10:28pm

I never heard the term “Christ Killers” as an epithet about Jews until I was in my 30s. I cannot remember where I heard it, but it made me uncomfortable.

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