News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
Under Joe Biden, the FBI is laser-focused on hunting down the most dangerous people in the country, the worst of the worst. And now, they need your help! It is time for every American to do their part and keep a lookout for these horrendous villains, the FBI’s Top 10 Most Wanted:
- The sandbag that almost killed Biden: A Bourne-level assassin, but with no moral code.
- Teenage girl praying silently outside abortion clinic: Do not approach this dangerous criminal without SWAT team backup.
- The dad from Bluey: A non-stop fountain of heteronormative hate crimes. Lock him up!
- The invisible man who goes to all of President Biden’s speeches, offers to shake his hand, but quickly pulls his hand away leaving Biden to look like a fool: The guy’s like a ghost.
- Campbell Biology 101 Textbook, 11th Edition: Millions have been assaulted by its basic explanations of sex and gender.
- Flight of stairs: Has made several attempts on the President’s life. Approach with caution.
- Your grandma: You may think she’s sweet, but she’s just one Ben Shapiro podcast away from storming the Capitol with crochet needles. Turn her in!
- Donald J. Trump: Subject to change on the off chance someone else ends up being Biden’s election opponent.
- Mom who asked school board not to give porn to her nine-year-old: The level of barbarism is sickening.
- Jesus Christ: Rumored to be leader of a dangerous sect known as ‘Christians’. Followers say He will return, so keep your eyes peeled!
Go here to read the rest. Hey Bee, you are supposed to be satirists not straight news reporters!
Reality is catching up to satire, Don.
Jesus Christ: Rumored to be leader of a dangerous sect known as ‘Christians’. Followers say He will return, so keep your eyes peeled! My favourite!
No 3- the dad from Bluey for being a common Queenslander. That’s where his heteronormative hate crime habits were taught. I’m married to a Queenslander.