Dear Diary:
Another day penning tweets for the Holy Father. Diary, it is so hard to write something that will say what the Pope wants to say but not get him into trouble. Example:
Last month I received this note from the Pope: “Sister, tell those moronic gringos who waste their time reading the tweets you write for me to stop being haters! Some of you young idiots waste all your time living on the internet complaining about everything! Basta! PF.”
I truly try to keep a smiley emoji Diary, truly I do, but the Holy Father can be sorta abrupt. I thought about it and typed out:
I passed it along to Father Supercilium. He e-mailed me back that I could tweet it since the Pope had said, What does it matter, only young idiots pay any attention to Twitter.
I tweeted it. I swear Diary that sometimes I wish I was back in Nashville working on the compost heap in the convent garden! Sometimes I have the nasty thought to simply tweet out one of the Pope’s notes. But of course I would never do so, and I am sure the thought is sinful. Working at the Vatican isn’t as spiritually rewarding as I thought it would be, but I am sure the fault is all mine. Yesterday I wasted two hours reading that dreadful The American Catholic and daydreaming about sending them some inside information. I think it would help if I didn’t have to spend so much time in this windowless office in the basement. It isn’t healthy Diary! Well, that is enough complaining. After I say my prayers I hope I will have only positive dreams and not one of those nightmares that scare me, especially the one about the Twitter Monster chasing me. Thank you Diary! Except for the Holy Mother and Mrs Bear, you are the only one I can confide in. Until tomorrow, which will be another day in Rome.
