First and Ten

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

With just a few days to inauguration, President-elect Donald Trump is preparing to sign a slew of day-one executive orders that will begin making America great again. Here is an exclusive first look at what Trump has planned:

1. An executive order granting himself unlimited executive orders: How has no one else thought of this?
2. McDonald’s must keep the McRib on the menu all year: We are SO BACK.
3. A 6-foot sign saying “you must be this tall to enter” will be placed at the southern border: Immigration, solved.
4. J.D. Vance has to stop wearing eyeliner: It’s so distracting.
5. All current children’s television programming will be canceled and replaced with Legends Of The Hidden Temple: Thank you, sir.
6. The U.S. will no longer recognize Norway as a country: Not for any reason, just because we can.
7. All women will be required to lose ten pounds by swimsuit season: Honestly, this one’s pretty sexist, but okay.
8. In lieu of the National Anthem, everyone must do the “YMCA” before any sporting event: So much greatness.
9. Serving veggie burgers will now be a capital offense: Good-bye, low T.
10. Whoopi Goldberg will be separated from her husband and assigned a white man to marry: She tried to warn us.

Go here to read the rest.