But it Will be a Dry, Spiritual Heat

News that PopeWatch missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

VATICAN CITY — After a morning of reading headlines from The Babylon Bee, the 266th pope of the Catholic Church sentenced all the paper’s writers to seven trillion years in purgatory.

“Iam nimis faggotatis apud Babylon Bee est,” said Pope Francis during routine purgatory sentencing.

According to experts, seven trillion years in purgatory would make Bee writers the absolute last ones to get into Heaven, even after Muhammad.

“That seems like a lot,” said Editor-in-Chief Kyle Mann. “Is that a lot?”

Managing Editor Joel Berry broke the news to his family following the chilling pronouncement. “But you still go to Heaven eventually,” his wife noted. “Why are you crying?”

Senior writer Nesmond Pyke was let go for writing all the anti-catholic headlines and getting the company into this mess.

Bee writers were reportedly beside themselves once they heard the supreme pontiff had been offended. In response, many writers sent messages to him over X, formerly Twitter, explaining that it was “just a joke.” However, Peter’s successor has been uncharacteristically unmerciful, arguing that while all roads lead to God, The Babylon Bee has simply gone too far this time.

Go here to read the rest.  And with that, PopeWatch will be on Thanksgiving hiatus until December 2, 2024.

5 1 vote
Article Rating
3 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Guy McClung
Guy McClung
Saturday, November 23, AD 2024 5:58am

Not to worry, Elon Musk will buy The Babylon Bee, and the Vatican. Guy, Texas

Lead kindly light
Lead kindly light
Saturday, November 23, AD 2024 6:15am

Buying the Vatican And the Babylon bee is not necessary. MSNBC will be enough. oh to be a fly on the wall In the room when morning joe gets fired. Although maybe he’ll just put out a post on X.

Lead kindly light
Lead kindly light
Saturday, November 23, AD 2024 6:16am

PS. I’m going to remember “Maybe it’ll be dry spiritual heat.” Had me chuckling.

Scroll to Top