American Election Begins

[This is a parody of a very recently published article about upcoming elections in Russia]

November  20, 2024

President Biden is expected to claim a second presidential term as America begins its newly-court-mandated three-day election today. The vote will include hundreds of thousands of new voters, many inhabitants of regions of the southern states, Califorfnia, and Illinois who have been in America less than a year.

Those in control of President Biden have now led America behind the scenes for over 10 years.T he election comes two months after the incarceration of the jailed opposition leader who has been struck from the ballot in 31 states. “2+2=4” campaign signs have been banned across America.

While the U.S. Constitution ostensibly prevents much of what has happened, various court decisions by Biden-appointed judges have nullified constitutional protections for the majority of American citizens. Many opposition leaders are now in jail or prison, having been found in secret courts to be terrorists, including many of the ordained hierarchy of the Catholic Church who proclaimed it was a mortal sin for any catholic with a well-formed conscience to vote for Biden or any other democrat at any level of government.

In mainstream media outlets, the elderly Biden retains high approval ratings, despite the failing American economy. Several economists who demanded to remain anonymous, stating that the total and utter collapse of the Communist Chinese economy is a certainty,  said that the only realistic way to revive the economy  is a global war.

Observers, all demanding to remain anonymous, say the government’s control of candidates and election processes, its implementation of No ID mail in ballots, the sequestration and barricading  of ballot reception warehouses, and its ban on independent media have effectively neutralized opponents’ ability to compete with Biden and any democrat.

With the apparent preparation for America to enter into the Russia/Ukraine war, and the failed efforts of the recently deceased Pope to convince Ukraine to surrender, antiwar candidates here have been stifled and ignored by the mainstream media. Several such candidates in California and New York, all recently indicted by Soros-funded prosecutors, district attorneys, and attorneys general, but not yet found guilty and for now free on bail, have been struck from the ballot in their respective states.

Getting the month wrong, Biden publicly declared last week, “I  will be re-elected by a landslide to the U.S. Senate this December.”