WORLD — Global leaders are shaken after researchers uncovered a young Jewish man from Nazareth at the center of a dark plot to control the entire universe — which he also apparently created.
“This Jewish plot goes deeper than we thought,” said insurance salesman and amateur researcher Dimlee Bergmann. “Apparently he claims he’s older than Father Abraham, responsible for the creation of the heavens and the earth, and owns the cattle on a thousand hills. I didn’t read anything about a space laser though, although that would be cool.”
Researchers claim they have discovered the shadowy figure is actually part of a cabal of three who conspire to work all things according to their will. The two accomplices have yet to be identified.
World leaders are distancing themselves from the Jewish man, who claims to have “the king’s heart” in his hands, to “turn it wherever he wills.”
“No one’s influencing me! I am not, nor have I ever been, controlled by this guy,” insisted Biden to reporters. “I don’t even know the man!”
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” I am not, nor have I ever been, controlled by this guy,” insisted Biden to reporters. “I don’t even know the man!”
Amazing. Finally, Joe Biden says something and I actually believe it’s the truth…
Few know the Man. But they will be saved. Joe will be like Charlie the tuna of the old chicken of sea commercials . Sorry Charlie/Joe
I never liked the reduction of Christ to “a Jew,” or “a Jewish man.” It’s the equivalent of calling Him a (mere) “Roman subject,” or a “practitioner of manual labor.” St. John, after all, says that “the Jews” plotted how they might kill Him (with the “Jews” always described as in opposition to Christ). Not that anyone should deny His descent, according to the flesh, from Judah, but the idea that He is somehow, in a primary sense, a member of the Jewish people as they are today–or as their leaders were during His earthly life–seems like a kind of Paulinism. Plus, it seems like an attempt to politicize His generation according to the flesh. (Maybe I’m too sensitive on this point, though!)